209 Comments

• 1. Kristina Procai&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:40 am

  Julie – You’ve already deomonstrated great courage and strength in making this decision, for which I admire you. I do not know how old your children are, but they will survive and flourish because you will be a better person. Kids are naturally resilient. I wish you the best of luck in your new “adventure.”

• 2. Daisy Chapman&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:42 am

  Julie:

  Just read your update — congrats on your independence. I am an ovarian cancer survivor and if your friend needs support or wants to be in touch with me through email, please allow her my email.

  Daisy a Customer from Vermont

• 3. Cindy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:43 am

  Hang in there. I too am divorced and I was the one who finally said enough is enough. I packed my three kids up and moved back home (Texas) and never looked back. There were some very trying times but I always knew in my heart I made the right decision for me and my kids. I later remarried and it has been the best 12 years of my life and for my kids. Always remember your sunflowers and keep moving on.

• 4. Chris Pierson&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:43 am

  Hi Julie! This is a little late, but I want to say thank you for your prompt service! I have placed 2 or 3 orders with you & everything is packaged so well & arrives in perfect condition! I also recently ordered some custom scrapbook pages for my son’s high school marching band memory book – they turned out GREAT! Just as I envisioned them! I will email pictured when I get some pages done! Thanks for this wonderful service!

• 5. Joyce&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:44 am

  Julie – I am so proud of you – you are a very strong person. I so want to end my marriage too (after 24 years there is nothing left – plus he’s an alcoholic) but I’m too weak right now to make the move. Your story is making me think …… You go, girl!!!! Life’s too short to be unhappy … and I’m unhappy all the time …..

• 6. Stacy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:44 am

  Hi Julie,

  I love your blogs, although I’ve never commented before. I just wanted to wish you courage, strength, and wisdom. I am in the process of making the same decision as you have. I’ve only been married 3.5 years, but I see how I’m moving away from the person I always wanted to be. I’m actually not ME at all…only the person that I HAVE to be in order to keep a happy home for my daughter. I can’t go on like this for the rest of my life, and things aren’t going to change. I know that it’s a very hard decision to make. Thank you for sharing with me (us) and good luck to you. I know that your future will be bright and happy.

• 7. Jennifer L in Canada&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:44 am

  Julie – I too am celebrating 13 years of marriage this year. They were not all easy years. Many times I thought the same thing about my life… I am shedding a tear for you though. I will pray for you and your family through this next transition in life. Just know you are surrounded by friends at home and out here on the web. <3

• 8. Emily&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:45 am

  Julie, I am sorry. It must be an incredibly tough time for you all at the moment. What a brave decision, it is all too easy to just muddle along and stick with what you know out of fear of the unknown. I am trying to get out of a rut at the moment & hope I can be as brave as you and live with no regrets.
  my thoughts and best wishes are with you as you turn towards the sun again.

• 9. Bobbie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:47 am

  Julie -

  Kudos to you for taking control of your life. Your post has really hit home for me – it’s comforting to know that we are not alone!! Best of luck to you in your new adventure!

• 10. Melissa&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:49 am

  When I read your blog, I felt like I was reading about my own life right now! I have 2 young children and just recently seperated from my husband who I have been with for 20 years. I have all the same feelings and am so worried about my girls but want them to see that mom can be happy too! Good luck to you! Everyone says you get through it one day at a time!

• 11. Nancy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:51 am

  I wish you nothing but the best for you and your family. I have never been divorced, but my parents were (my dad several times) so I grew up with the 2 different households. The one piece of advice that I can give you (coming from a kid’s standpoint) is to get along with your ex . My parents respected each other enough and got along for the sake of the kids. This afforded my sister and I the chance to have both of my parents together for family holidays and other special events in my life growing up. I may have not liked them divorcing but I was happy that there was not any tension between them, at least visible to a child’s eye. I hope for your family that you can get to that. It would make things go smoothly for you all. Knowing what my parents were like before the divorce, I am happy that they got divorced. I can also say that my sister and I have suffered no ill effects from the divorce. Take care.

• 12. Barbara Moore&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:52 am

  Julie, Life is a series of choices that range from ‘don’t even think about it EASY’ to ‘don’t even want to think about it EXCRUCIATING’ but it is these decisions that define the life we lead. Clearly you have not made a rash decision but rather a purposeful and pondered choice. More power to you and your children (and your husband) as you move forward after this leap of faith. The CVS near my home has every space painted with the mandate “Live Life to the Fullest”–it’s a gentle reminder every time I pull up to ask myself…’am I doing that and if not, why?’
  I support you for taking the action you know is best for you and your children…new journeys ahead!

• 13. Elizabeth&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:52 am

  Julie,
  I know this was very hard for you but remember you have to do certain things for the good of your children. If life ended tomorrow you would want to leave the right impression with the kids and know you made a difference in their lives.
  Living in a house without true love between parents is not the place to be – I know – my parents stayed together just for my sister and my sake and we saw no love between them. When we both got married we had hard times showing love to our spouses because we had never seen this love at home. Our marriages have paid for this and I look at other marriages full of love and have dreamed of being able to show love like that to my husband but then I remember the fights and arguements and makes it harder.
  Hang in there and know others love and care for you and remember you only have to answer to the Lord and he sees and hears all! He knows you worked hard at trying to make it work. SUPER BIG HUGS!

• 14. Jenn Carlen&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am

  Growing up HAPPY is so much more important than growing up with two UNHAPPY parents! Congrats on your decision to make yourself and your kids happy!

• 15. Beth&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am

  I applaud you for doing what is best for YOU. When you are happy, your kids will be happy. If you are unhappy, well, they can sense it. I remember when I left my ex-husband after 10 years of marriage and additional 3.5 years together. I worried if I was doing the right thing for me and my kids. After almost 6 months, my daughter (almost 9 at the time) stopped what she was doing and said to me “Mom, I don’t remember ever seeing you this happy”. Right then and there I knew I did the best thing for us. Yes life was a roller coaster for a little while, but in there is light at the end of the tunnel. That light is much brighter than what would have been if I stayed with him. The good times now are much better than the best of times then….know what I mean??? Best of luck to you and know you are not alone….

• 16. Kathy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:54 am

  I went through a divorce 13 years ago with a 4 year old girl and 11 year old boy. It was not always easy but with my family, friends and prayer we made it through day by day and sometimes minute by minute. Today my daughter is in her first year of college and my son has a great job after graduating with two degrees last year. Love your kids and hold on for the ride. There are hills and valley’s but you will be closer to your kids than possible. You are in my thoughts and prayers!!

• 17. Jo&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:57 am

  Julie, I wish you all the best during the changes you are making with the kids. It takes a very strong and courageous person to make a change in their life. No one can say you did not try with 15 years on and off of counseling. I know it was a very tough decision. I was young and foolish when I married, thinking I could change my husband. Of course, that didn’t work, and after 2.5 years, I left him and had to move back with my parents and start over with a lot of bills to pay. It makes you a stronger person. You have a very successful business, and I know you will start having a better personal life. I love the sunflower wreath – what a cheery greeting to have when you come home!

• 18. Darlene Chavers&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:58 am

  Julie, You have to do what you think in your head & know in your heart is right. I was only married for 6 years to my 1st husband & we had 2 boys. They were 4 & 2 at the time. They are now 26 & 24 and in October I will celebrate my 6th anniversay will my 2nd husband. He was married for 17 years to his 1st wife. I dated some off & on durring that time (more off than own), but that time gave me time to be with my sons and be involved in what they were, sports, scouts, school, church. I was there and loved every minute. Take this time to get to know yourself again. Remember the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. I wish you well.

• 19. Lorraine&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:00 am

  Julie, yes, it has to be not only life changing and terrifying but you have to remember why you did this. Everyone deserves to be happy, including your kids. They pick up on whether mom and dad are happy together. Better to have two happy parents separately than 2 not so happy who are together. In the long run, you’re doing them a favor. Also try to remember the old saying, when one door closes, another opens. Your door is waiting right around the corner.

• 20. Beth&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:01 am

  I really enjoyed what you wrote about “Life can change in an instant”. That is so very true. I have read all the blogs and they are all praising you for your courage and I am to but, my husband of 28 years decided the same thing you did and walked out on me and my 2 older kids. When he did it crushed my life. Everything I had given him in the past 28 years was destroyed in my mind. After about 2 weeks of being gone from us, he called and God had really been dealing with his heart that he had done the wrong thing. He asked to come back home and I let him. It has been hard, but we are trying to make things better and now after about a month we are getting along better than before. So think about it and maybe give it another chance. Like you said Life is short and you don’t need to throw away 18 years. Every situation is different and maybe you cant go back to those years but I am so glad that I did. I love your website, I have done some beautiful pages with your products and I thank you for that. Hang in there and I wish you and your kids the best.

• 21. Beverly&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:02 am

  thank you for sharing your story. I am going through the exact same thing right now. I got the final paperwork on Sept 2. Reading your blog this morning was like putting all of my own thoughts down- except you were able to articulate it better than I could have. You are a blessing to others. ((((hugs))) You will be fine. We both will. I’m going to get a sunflower wreath to go on my door when I close on my new house Sept 15th! I love sunflowers too!

• 22. Janet&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:03 am

  You are doing the right thing for everyone involved. I have been there and done that. just remember that lifes situations are given to you because you can handle and and grow from it, God is watching and guiding you all the way. your kids will also over time realize that your decision was best for you, them and their dad. i tell my daughter whenever she gets down that we wouldn’t be in the place we are today or have met the people we have met unless we were on that bumpy road and got off. Remember to always be thankful for what you had and excited or what is to come. Thank you for sharing, I look forward to getting the emails every week.

• 23. Janice Lowery&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:03 am

  Julie, I love receiving your emails each week….regarding moving on, I’m sure this was a very difficult decision, and pray that you and your children find happiness in just being together, and create your own life as a strong family….

• 24. Bethany&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:03 am

  That took a lot of courage to share! Thanks for being a strong example to your daughter, friends and customers! You never know what a difference you might make in helping someone else life by sharing your story. I made the decision to leave my son’s father 17 years ago. I wanted to show my sons it is not OKAY to abuse your wife. At the time I had a 2, 5 and 7 year old boys. It was not easy at first and there were many tears the first holidays spent without them but I can say that our lives are better today because I left.

• 25. Pam&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:03 am

  I was divorced after 19 years… had the same worries you are having, especially for my kids. Its now 19 years later. I regret nothing– not the years of marriage and my two great kids, not the divorce, nothing. I would not be where I am today if I hadn’t gone through that. My kids wouldn’t be here. I have been with the most wonderful man for the past 15 years and we “blended” a family so we have 4 kids, now grown, who think of themselves as a family. We have kept the exes and their families involved (which was a lot of work at the start!) and its now how our kids believe families are. And my children all admire the relationship my current husband and I have. I am so blessed for every moment in my life!

  Go for it Julie! Follow the path and keep your face to the sun. You were meant to be where you were. The children you have were meant to be. And now you need to follow the path it has led you too! You didn’t know you were headed to this path… and you can’t know yet exactly where this one is heading you. Sometimes, we think we are heading towards one goal when life surprises us. Keep the faith. Pass it gently. Life is a grand trip!

• 26. Fiona&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:04 am

  I almost want to say ‘congratulations’ but I know that comes out wrong, but I do want to congratulate you because you have made a very brave, very strong and ultimately very sensible decision for everyone’s sakes, and I truly hope it leads to the kind of life you want and deserve for you and your children.

  And I have to say, I want to use you as inspiration. Not because I have a decision as big as getting a divorce to make, just because I’m not living my life to my full potential, and you’ve made me realise it’s the biggest and scariest decisions (like giving up a career, moving away from the city/country I’ve spent 7 years in) that I’ve put off making that I need to make to truly move myself forward.

  Thank you, as always, for your words and for making ScrapYourTrip my friend and I’s favourite scrapbooking website by a country mile.

  Lol, Fiona.

• 27. Sandy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:05 am

  Julie,

  I feel like I know you reading your e-mails every week and am touched to be a small part of your life. I have so much respect for you as a business woman and have said so to many friends of mine. Anyway, I felt compelled to blog for the first time after reading your latest entry re your upcoming divorce. My husband and I have been together over 20 years now and I have thought about leaving more than once but we are still together working through it. We still love each other a great deal – it is mostly just life that gets in our way. Hopefully we can continue to work it out. I just wanted to express once again how much respect I have for you in taking a brave step to make yourself happy which will in turn make your children happier. It will be a tough road for a little while yet but it will be worth it in the end if this is what you need for yourself. Take care and you will be in my thoughts and thanks again for letting us all into your life each week. I always look forward to reading and hearing from what seems like my long lost friend.

• 28. Sharon&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am

  Julie,

  I wish you all the best on the start of this new life…I made that decision myself 10 years ago, and while there were some rough times, it was always better than living a life I was not happy with. When something takes that much effort, it usually isnt worth investing the rest of what you have waiting for the “payoff” to finally be worth the price you paid. My son and I did better on my own than we did living life “as a family”…we were both happier and life in the house was peaceful. I am now married and as happy as I always envisioned…you will also find now that you will not comprimise anymore when it comes to what you want/need…dont let anyone tell you that is selfish…You get what YOU need/want, be true to yourself…your kids will love and respect the new, strong YOU !!! Bless you sweetheart….

• 29. Cindy Spriggs&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am

  Julie-
  I have also been divorced and know that no matter what age your children are they know when you are not happy. They can sense it. If you are happy now, they will see that and know that all will be ok. If you feel a sense of relief then know you did the right thing, will it be hard? Of course it will be but know that you have your children and yourself! You are a strong woman and can do anything you set your mind to, you have a great business and have been working out! Good luck and may God Bless you and watch over you and and your family.

• 30. Carrie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am

  Sweet Julie, after 13 years of marraige I found out my ex had a whole new family on the side. You are sooo much stronger then you think you are and because of your kids you will survive. Being a good mom and being there for them is the best thing for you guys right now. I remember my 7 year old daughter saying at the dinner table shortly after her father left..geee mom we don’t have to eat meatloaf anymore. It’s funny but that instant I knew that my girls and I would be fine. Keep the faith, give the kids plenty of hugs and make sure that Julie has Julie time (because we need that!). You have touched so many people in your life and I have read so many thoughts here on the blog. Just remember you are not alone

  Carrie Madrid

• 31. Chris Pierson&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:09 am

  Submitted too soon…:) As a child of a divorce I can say that you probably did just the right thing. Kids know when things aren’t good between their parents – no matter how well you think you hide it. Once you get through the inital stages you will be a much happier person (as will your ex) which will in turn affect the kids positively.
  Best wishes to you as you start this new phase of your life!

• 32. Jennifer&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:09 am

  Julie, You’ve made a courageous and difficult decision! I wish you and your family all the best as you navigate your way to your new life.

• 33. Kimberly Mc&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:09 am

  Thank you so much for sharing not only your decision, but how you came to that decision. I was on the other side of the fence – I woke up one morning and my husband of 10 years said he wanted a divorce. We didn’t have kids, but it was still devastating.
  You know what? It was the best thing for both of us (in the long run). We are friends now. We are both remarried. I am the happiest I have EVER been and I can’t imagine life any other way.
  You have done the right thing for you, your kids and your ex. It may take time for everyone to come to that realization, but it will happen.
  Congratulations on taking a very scary and difficult step.
  Congratulations on the new condo, and thank you for the amazing perspective!
  you ROCK!

• 34. Mel in Illinois&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:10 am

  Julie… congratulations for making your decision. I can only imagine that its not easy…but if its encouraging at all, here is my opinion on it: My parents divorced when I was 10 (my brother was and it was difficult for everyone, but the person that I saw come out in my mom when she was out from under the pressure of being a certain way just to keep things “happy” – was an amazing woman. I have SO much more respect for her today (18 years later)! My husband’s parents are still (somewhat unhappily) married and he is always amazed when I say that I’m glad my parents got divorced. I can’t imagine who I would’ve turned out to be if I had lived with them for all those years, unhappy as they both were.

  I agree with one of the previous posters, kids are so resiliant…I think we, as adults, forget just how tough they can be. In 10 or 15 years you will look at them and be so proud of who they’ve become because you took the leap of faith and gave them a happy, loving home.

  I wish you the best and just know that everything will work out for you and your family.

• 35. Tammy Bingeman&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:10 am

  Julie,

  Big hugs to you! I went through this and there were tough times but in the end, I wanted us both to be happy. There will be times when you wish things could have been different and in my case the cure was always to ask myself – Am I happier now then I was then and the answer has always been yes. Try never to say things in front of your children that are hurtful (even if true) and that will be a gift they will remember in their adult life. I shall keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers!

• 36. Susan&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:11 am

  I’m in the very same boat as you. My 13 year anniversary was at the beginning of July. However, by then we had been separated 1 1/2 years. It’s hard to give up something that was supposed to be forever. Then it’s hard to accept that you have to face the world on your own again. My divorce was final 8/31. I cried for two days after (and many tears before). I know it was the best decision, but it still hurts. We have to hang in there and do our best for the kids. Life will go on and we’ll find someone to be our ‘sun”.

• 37. Kellie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:12 am

  Julie –
  I’m know that this has been difficult for you, but you are making the best decision for you and your children. I am not divorced, but have a child with someone and we are not together. Although it has not been easy at all, we are now at a place where we try to work together for our child. I know your children will be fine. They will have the BEST of both of you and understand in time the decisions that you have had to make. Take care of yourself, know that you are not alone and remember that you have friends who love and admire you. When times get tough for me, I always remember the line in the movie Sound of Music, When God closes a door, he always opens a window. Best wishes to you and your family.

• 38. Bonnie Brown&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:13 am

  Julie -

  I know you can do it Julie. The kids will be ok. I divorced last summer and their dad and I get along so much better than we ever used to do now that he has his own space and apartmnent. My girls are both special needs and I went throgh heart surgery in 2007 right after that he informed me he was leaving .. to many medical things for him to deal with. But that is ok. I still have bad days and I am currently looking for work that will provide me with insurance, but I keep going and keep trying and take each day as it comes with a positive outlook. Sounds like you made a tough but much needed decision and I wish you the best of luck and you will be in my prayers.

• 39. Mel in Illinois&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:16 am

  ok that’s really odd… my brother was EIGHT. Apparently the number 8 and a “)” make a smiley face with shades.

  sorry about that!

• 40. Jill in CA&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:16 am

  Julie,
  Hang in there girl, it will get better as everyone adjusts.
  My parents divorced when I was in my late teens, fresh out of high school. My high school years were miserable, as I was the baby and the only one left to witness the decay of my parents marriage. My mother stayed with my father and put up with his adultry and verbal abuse “for me”…. and how I wish she had not. I am 46 years old and still have a tense relationship with my father. My mother became a much better person once they divorced and I learned much more about being a mother as a young adult, when she was in a much better place to show me.
  I feel so fotunate that I fell in love with a wonderful man who has been the love of my life for over 25 years and the best father to our 22 & 18 year old kids.
  I wish you and your children all the best as you make this transition.

• 41. JoAnne in Maryland&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:18 am

  I feel compelled to add my two cents. I became a single parent 17 years ago. I had one daughter 3 years old and was in the process of getting into nursing school. So, I didn’t have much! I left out of necessity (domestic violence) and have never looked back or regretted my decision for my daughter’s sake. I took it one day at a time. That is what got me through and kept me going. Your children will be better off because you now became their role model for strength. My daughter just graduated from college and has a successful career. She saw what I went through to get her there and she admires me for it. She has become a strong young woman as a result. Many people think they should stay together for “the children”. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Your children don’t deserve to be in a dysfunctional environment. They see much more than we give them credit for. They will always have a mother and a father that love them, just not living in the same house. Kids actually start enjoying two Christmas’s, two birthday celebrations, etc. Best of luck to you and I’m expecting to hear good things in the following months!

• 42. Karen&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:18 am

  I am not a big fan of Dr. Phil, but in his earlier years he said something that stuck with me–if you have gone thru counseling and tried to make your marriage work, then do NOT stay together for your children. It is better to have 2 separate HAPPY parents, then parents that are together and fighting and unhappy.

  And now a joke to make you smile. A 95 year old man and his 92 year old wife are at an attorney’s office preparing to divorce. The attorney tried to remain disnterested, but his curiosity got the best of him and so he asked “After 70 years of marriage, why did you decide to divorce now?” Their answer: “We were waiting for our children to die.”

  I am 54 and constantly trying to grow–married for the first time at age 42, gone thru several careers, and right now heading off to care for my mom who is about to have lung surgery–fingers crossed, prayers needed! And what i have learned the most is that life is too short to waste on things that make you unhappy.

  You go girl! Thanks for sharing!

• 43. Sharen Dyck&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:20 am

  Wish you all the best. It takes a lot of courage to be on your own.
  Sharen

• 44. Jennie in England&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:21 am

  I was quite tearful as I read your blog and just wanted to say what a brave decision you have made. You have already proved what a great business woman you are and recently I have been so impressed by your determination in the gym. You really are an inspiration … .you have so many of us sending you good thoughts and wishes at this time.

• 45. Julie Finch&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:24 am

  Julie, as I read your blog this morning my heart goes out to you and your family. I feel as if I am writing this to a dear friend, as honesty is always found in your emails each week, I appreciate that about you! Although I have never been married, my parents divorced when I was 12. The best advice I can give from that standpoint goes along with what Nancy mentioned before, is to maintain a good relationship with Tony for Lauren and Logan’s sake…
  It is such a praise to hear that Nancy’s family experienced this, as my parents (even 12 years later) cannot be in the same room, let alone speak to eachother or about eachother without negativity. It is so important that you try to hold one another in a positive light when you are around your kids. The pain and transition is not easy for anyone, however I can say that my sister and I, as adults now, are better and stronger women from that experience. I will be praying for you and your family.

  With love and appreciation,

  Julie Finch

• 46. Joy Mendez&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:24 am

  I haven’t been in your shoes, but I have asked myself “is this the happiest I can be in the life I now have” so I understand some of what you’ve been going through. I’m sending a virtual hug and all my good thoughts that the changes in your life bring you all that you deserve.

• 47. Marilyn&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:24 am

  Julie,

  You do have alot of courage and I wish you the best of luck. Divorce is not easy, especially for the kids, but things will end up better. Just don’t jump into another relationship right away. After I divorced, I had to learn how to be single. It is hard to do. Give your self some time. The kids will be better for that too. Also, just continue to pray everyday and praise God. It will lift you up. Bless you.

• 48. Shari&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:26 am

  Julie – As somebody that is 4 years through this same decision, I can safely say I have no regrets. The guilt of splitting my children will never go away but I wholeheartedly feel that in the end, they will be happier because I’m happier. It’s up to you and your husband to make it as seemless as possible for your children, and to provide a unified front for them as they grow up. You don’t have to like each other but for the kids sake, it makes it a whole lot easier if they see you both working together to put their needs in front of yours. We are both happily remarried now and I tell our kids they are lucky because they get two families now instead of one, both of who love them very much. You’ll get through it … and there are a lot of us out here who can relate. Stand your ground and make yourself happy … it really is a very short ride!

• 49. Charlene&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:27 am

  Julie, congratulations for taking control of your life. My children were 2 and 4 when their dad and I divorced. They are now 32 and 34. It was a scary time; I was young and they were young, but we made it and we are all the better for it. Their dad & I are good friends now and we talk almost daily via email, mostly about the kids and grandkids. I remarried after the divorce as well and have been through some major changes in that marriage that I can’t discuss on the blog, but needless to say it has been a rollercoaster ride, too.

  You will make it and your kids will make it.

• 50. Lisa&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:28 am

  Julie–I walked away from an unhappy marriage several years ago with 2 small daughters. Today, one is a Sophmore in College and the other one has graduated from College and moved on in her life and both are already accomplished in their own right! Your children will benefit from seeing a strong, happy mother. I believe I have been a fantastic female role model in their lives showing them that anything is achievable!!

• 51. Michelle&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:29 am

  Julie, I’ve been where you are but it was 16 years ago. At the time I finally took my 2 year old son away from a bad situation and ventured out alone and scared. It wasn’t always easy and I wasn’t always sure I made the right choice, but in my heart I knew I did. There were days when getting up and putting on a happy face for my son and the world were all I could muster. But a strong faith in God, tons of loving family and friends, and (eventually) belief in myself and my decisions got us through. We are stronger, happier, and wiser because of it. Everything didn’t always go right and sometimes you make mistakes but you let your kids see those mistakes and you talk about how even mom isn’t perfect and you try again. I only remarried last November, just a few months before he turned 18. I know I made the right decisions. My son is at Baylor University and is happy, smart, confident, strong in faith, has goals and dreams, knows his mom loves him enough for twenty parents :0) My decision didn’t hurt him, it made him the stong wonderful person he is today….. your children will blossom just as beautifully because I know what’s in your heart and they do too. Love and blessings!!! oh, and by the way, it’s really ok if they see you cry every once in awhile. Even the little guys like to be mom’s superhero once in awhile.

• 52. Meredith Spalding&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:32 am

  Julie,
  Just read your latest e-mail and wanted to wish you good luck in your new freedom. I have gone through a divorce and it is tough but be strong – you can do it!!
  My prayers are with you and your children during this time.

• 53. Jim&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:37 am

  Hi Julie. I’m so sad you’re going through a very emotionally draining and negative time. You’ll get through and you’ll be better for it!

• 54. Edith Boslet&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:39 am

  Julie, it takes great courage to make the kind of decision that you have made. Not just for yourself, but for your family as well. You are sending the message to your children that you don’t have to settle for anything in life, it’s never to late to start over and you don’t have to be afraid to make the hard decisions. I wish you and your family the best of luck through this transition and you must realize that when you are happy and content your children will be as well. Blessings,

• 55. Christyn Madau&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:40 am

  Julie, I always read your emails and am often touched by them. The one today really struck a chord with me, as I, too, divorced my husband after 18 years of marriage. I felt that I needed to write to say “YES!!!” you are doing the right thing!!! It has been over 10 years now since I made that heart-wrenching decision to leave. I, too, took my kids (two daughters) and moved to an apartment in town. They shared time between their Dad’s house in the country and with me. Also, like you, I do much of my processing through my writing, so I had no doubt that I was right, when I finally left. I won’t say that there have not been some hard times and ‘moments’ where I questioned what I did over the years – but that is the key – they have only been fleeting moments. Always, always, I get confirmation from the Universe – almost immediately – that it was, and always will remain, the right decision for me (and my girls). So stay strong, go forward with joy, love and determination – life will unfold and it will be beautiful!

• 56. Jan&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:41 am

  Julie,
  Although my life change is not as traumatic as yours I can certainly relate to starting a new life path. I retired from teaching in June and I’m trying to structure my new life while feeling very disconnected from the way my life has been. I know my new path will eventually be as exciting and fulfilling as I need, but the first few steps down that path are a bit daunting. I KNOW that we’ll both get more steady on our feet with each new day!!!! Good luck and keep putting one foot in front of the other!

• 57. Chelester&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:42 am

  Wishing you all the best in your new life. Some of us are not that strong!

• 58. toddie j&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:45 am

  I am certain you made the right decision…as I did about 10 years ago…it was like reading part of my history. My daughter said, a few months later…what took you so long? your kids will grow up happier, i promise.

  encourage them to have a relationship with their dad, and never say anything bad about him in front of them..or like me…i only did it in very private situations. that does no good.

  my favorite saying…
  “funny the time you realized you were married to the wrong person but had the right kids.”

  as you know…life has it’s ups and downs…but happiness is more important than anything money can buy. you go!

• 59. Dawn Thomas&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:49 am

  Julie, I want to first send you out big HUGS. As many of the other posters, I am divorced (15 years now) and had 2 small children when we separated. The first step is always the hardest and you have done that. I have faith that everything will work out for you and you will be happier for it.

  Your kids will be ok, kids are made of tough stuff.

  You are strong, you have shown us that thru your business and your recent weight loss and health improvement.

  There are many people who have grown to care for you as you share parts of your life with us through your emails, so you have loads of support.

  “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ” – Christopher Robin to Pooh

• 60. Helene&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:56 am

  It’ll be tough, but everyone will survive. My ex-husband left (at my request) when our boys were 1 and 4 years old. He was not at all happy about the divorce, but over the years we have remained “friends.” We have vacationed together with the boys, have shared birthday parties, sports, social activities, and school activities despite various relationships with other individuals.
  The best word of advice I can share with you is to NEVER speak badly about the ex. When one speaks bad about the other parent they are speaking badly of their own child… since that child is created by both parents. It’s really harmful to the child’s self esteem. Besides, it will eventually come back and bite you in the butt! When you get frustrated or angry talk with your friends and curse all you want about the ex, but never to the children.
  My children are now 24 and 21 years old. The 4 of us still hang out, and are so grateful that we have our little, but ‘different’ kind of family.
  Best of luck to you and your family!! Helene

• 61. Kim&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:57 am

  Wishing you the best of luck on your new adventure! Life is way too short to live unhappy.
  I grow several different types of sunflowers in my yard each year. I also find them to be cheerful – so full of promise as they grow bigger & bigger!

• 62. Natalie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am

  Julie-My parents divorced when I was a child. When I divorced, I sat our son down and explained what was gooing to happen, not a whole lot on the details other then mom and dad weren’t going to be together anymore. He was very shocked when I explained that nothing was his fault. His comment was, ” How did you know I felt guilty?” Children always think that if they didn’t misbehave, got better grades, kept there room clean, etc mom and dad would be together. So please let your children know that they were not the cause. A very trying time to go through, but the best decision I will never regret. Has taken me years to move on, but I have met a wonderful man that has helped me eel good about me. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Natalie

• 63. Bonnie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:03 am

  I don’t know if you are a Christian or not, but if you keep facing the “SON” you will get through this a lot easier because of His presence with you. Isaiah 43:2

• 64. Christina Philburn&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:05 am

  Wow! What strenght and courage you have–you rock! By deciding to live from an authenic and loving place, you are giving your children the best example of a life well-lived and you are giving your (soon to be) former husband a chance to find his own personal joy.

  I know that it can be scary….and sometimes it is going to be tough. You can choose to let go of the pain, fear, and blame and build a new relationship with your former husband based on separate lives and acceptance of who you both are indivdually.

  I am not a scrapbooker. Someday, hopefully. I came across Scrap Your Trip because my daughter needed field hockey scrapbook stuff for a project, and your company had some great stuff.

  I stayed on your mailing list because of your blog.

  You are an amazing example to all of us…how you run your company, how you handle being a Mom, how you give back to your community and country, and how you are as a friend. In many ways you pick out the best parts of all of your customers and readers show us how great it can be to be a woman.

  You write about plainly, passionately and transparently.

  Thank you being brave enough to find your path to happiness. When the path gets a little rocky, remember that tough times don’t last, tough people do…..and remember that you have a cheering section to support you.

• 65. Sharon&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:08 am

  I have never posted before, but I just wanted to wish you all the best in this tough time. I also wanted to thank you for being courageous enough to share such intimate details of your life with a bunch of strangers (although we all feel like we know you through your posts). Through your bravery, many will be helped, as you can see by the previous posts. Good luck and hang in there – it was definitely for the best. It’s hard for us females to do, but you need to take care of yourself first, and I congratulate you for doing so!

• 66. Kathy Merrill&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:10 am

  Hi Julie,
  I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt. It sounds like you have your head on straight and you’ll get through this better and stronger than you were before! I agree with a posting above that getting along with your ex is essential. Keep on keepin’ on and best of luck to you!
  Kathy

• 67. Shelley Buttler&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:11 am

  Hi Julie,
  Your post today struck a cord with me and I wanted to wish you the best. I was only married for 6 years (now divorced 11) and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was so hard. The hardest thing I ever had to do, but you just have to keep pushing on.

  I had to deal with not only my ex, but his girlfriend, financial troubles, my father getting terminal cancer, my dog dying, and had my 2 year old to think about. My mother once asked me how much more I could take. I asked her if I really had a choice? God never gives you more to deal with than you can handle, right? Well, let me tell you, he thought I could handle a lot! I got through it and so will you.

  You are a great mother and those great kids of yours will help get you though the tough times. You will find that you spend more quality time when they are with you. The time with your kids will become more precious to you than you could possibly imagine. They won’t understand why you and your husband are not together any more, but they will in time.

  Like somebody said before, keep things as civil with your husband as you can (but I’m sure you will do that). And never argue within earshot if you can help it. Your kids will need both you and their dad and you don’t want them feeling like they have to defend one parent to the other.

  Keep busy when the kids are with their dad. At first it is really hard to be without them for even one minute, but then you start doing the grocery shopping on days you don’t have them or running errands on those days. It frees up time so you can make the days they are with you more special.

  Good luck and best wishes on an easy, quick, and uneventful divorce.

  Take care of yourself!

• 68. Dawn&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:17 am

  Julie,
  I was surprised to read your comments today. I love scrap your trip and look forward to the updates about your life and family, it really adds to the scrap your trip experience! You are going through a tough time but you will survive! I made the choice to leave my first husband when my son was only 2. It was the best thing I ever did. I am happily married to my second husband , we just celebrated 21 years. It took alot for you to make the choice you did and even more to go “public”. I wish you and your family all the best and will keep you all in my prayers. Stay strong

• 69. armymom166&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:18 am

  Julie – I became a single mom when my son was a year old. It was one of the hardest decisions in my life, and it wasn’t easy along the way, but I know now that I did the right thing. I wish you and your family all the best during this difficult transition. It takes courage to make such a major change in your life, and you need to live your life with no regrets. You may second-guess yourself along the way, but when you look back on your life down the road, you’ll see that you made a good decision.

  God bless you.

• 70. Kathi&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:20 am

  Julie – Through the years I have been a customer, I have enjoyed emensely you weekly emails. Today, your message struck me. I, too, found myself restarting my life with my 6 kids about 10 years ago. I “get” the place where you are. I have found through my experience, my kids are better people because of my divorce. Now they get to see Mom and Dad at their best, not fighting. After 10 years, we parent well together, something I am not sure I could have said if we remained together. As for me, I put myself through school again, restarted a career (after being a stay-at-home mom for 13 years), am remodeling my house on my own…all things I never would have dreamed of doing. I have grown as a person – and my kids have seen that and respect that. There is laughter in my home, where there was once tears. Good luck to you on this new chapter in your life, remember the sky is the limit when you are looking upward!

• 71. rebecca&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:23 am

  I can relate so much to what you are going through! I moved out in April of my boyfriends home we had been together 7yrs. I thought we was going to get married but I finally realised it was not going to happen and that I also deserved so much better! so I got my own 1 bedroom apt and life moved on. About 3 weeks ago I got let go of my purchasing job of 2.5 yrs. I feel things happen for a reason and I am ok with it all. I live in CO but have family in WA state and ORE. so in the car I got and I am in WA looking for work. Also a male friend that i have know for about 9-10 yrs is back in my life. We was always just friends and nothing more all these years. Well make long story short we are now seeing each other he lives here in WA state where i am currenlty at. All these years that we have just been friends and to now thing that maybe he is the one LOL. What a year this has been for me.

  It was hard leaving my old relationship but I knew I had to do it! financialy was one of the reasons that i took so long to get out I was scared! It was 4 yrs ago about this time that i had moved in with the boyfriend and now 4 yrs later my life has changed so much. In those 4 yrs I got in shape and took up running and triathlons and it has changed me so much physically but it really! changed me mentally! it made me strong enough to realise that I can be ok out on my own again. Hang in there you will be fine! Always here for you if you need friends to talk too. tough times dont last tough people do!

• 72. Becky Pruitt&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:25 am

  I would like to suggest a wonderful book that has caused me to do some serious self examination & has completely changed the way I look at marriage. It is called The Love Dare. You have to be at a point in your life where you are truly willing to do some honest self examination-even if it means you don’t like some of the things you discover. If you are at this point in life-this book will change your life. I will be praying for you and your family during this difficult time!

• 73. maggie millares&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:26 am

  I LOVE YOUR RED DOOR. I KNOW AFTER SO LONG OF BEING WITH SOMEONE IT FEELS DO DIFFERENT BEING WITHOUT THE OTHER PERSON, BUT LOOK AT LIFE AS YOU ARE ENTERING A NEW CHAPTER. YOU WILL BE STAY STRONG FOR YOUR KIDS AND IT WILL GET EASIER LITTLE BY LITTLE. EMBRACE YOUR NEW BEGINING.

• 74. Kathy Wellington&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:30 am

  Julie – Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. My husband came to me just days before our 20th wedding anniversary and said he wanted a divorce. No signs of him being unhappy. Said he was a “loner” and needed to be alone. Come to find out he was having a relationship with the only woman who worked where he worked. She had had numerous affairs before him. We were church members, he was a deacon. Many members and coworkers tried to talk to him, but it didn’t do any good. Our son was a junior in high school and it affected him terribly. I was devastated! But I picked myself up somehow for my son’s sake and went on. I stayed away from church which I know now I shouldn’t have done, but I was so embarrased by what he was doing to our family. That was in 1990. Since then his girlfriend dumped him because he came down with cancer and later died in 2004. I made amends with him before he died and have been so thankful that I did. After all he would always be my son’s father and the love of my life. It hasn’t been easy but with friends and family and the strength of God I have made it. You will too! I wish the very best for you and your children.

• 75. Dawn J&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:31 am

  Sending you my thoughts and prayers that you would find PEACE – a simple word, but something that I believe everyone deserves.

• 76. Karen Waggoner&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:31 am

  After so many years of counseling you have made the right decision to move onward with your life. I too have just separated from my husband of 15 years. It was very hard at the beginning but is getting easier. We didnt have any children together, and I respect you for your belief in what you are doing for your children. Hopefully you and their father will be able to have a relationship that will benefit the children and make the transition easier for all. Hang in there.

• 77. Diane&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am

  Hi Julie,
  Just read your email & the encouraging words you have received. I commend you and the others who have taken this courageous step. I have been married 28 yrs and never felt more alone. I have two boys in college & a husband who prefers to spend his time at the club or in front of the tv. No much of a marriage. Hopefully I can be as brave as you and move on because I know there is something bigger and better out there for me. Just need that push. Wish you all the best:-)

• 78. Cathy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:34 am

  Julie,
  Your wreath is beautiful! Follow the sun, it will always lead you to a good place!

• 79. Marilyn Myerscough&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:35 am

  Julie:
  I’ve been a long time customer of yours and you even took the time to email me a personal thank you when I wrote you to tell you how great your employees are. I’ve never forgotten that. As for your situation, I’ve been in your shoes and you are doing the right thing. Your children will adjust (just as mine did) and especially when they see what a great mom they have. Hang in there kiddo and everything will smooth out. Just give it some time.

• 80. Ericka&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:39 am

  Julie..I am so sorry to hear about your sorrow. I understand where you are coming from. My husband and I have been through trying time when I thought we would divorce. You do what is right for you and eventually you will be ok. I wish you only the best in the future. Take care of yourself!

• 81. Robin&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:42 am

  I wish you strength to get through this rough patch and no matter what anyone says about your decision, you need to do what is right for you first. If you are not happy and ready to face the world, everything else will not be possible. I have no words of experience on this matter but am helping a friend through this decion and no matter what decison she makes, I will be there just like I am sure your great friends will be.

  The wreath is beautiful and especially on the red door – red is a great strength color. Good luck in your new place and adventure with the kids. All will work out for the best !

  Thanks also for the great customer service and products =)

• 82. Whitney&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:43 am

  Julie. My parents got divorced when I was a teenager. Although it was a difficult time, it was also a blessing in the end. Going from a mother who was always sad and often crying to a mother who was finally happy and able to live the life she needed and wanted to live made a big, positive impression on me. Although it won’t be easy for any of you, I do wish you the very best during this hard time and I congratulate you on your courage to make the decision that was best for you and your family. I wish you only the best!

• 83. Ellen&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:45 am

  Julie:
  I’ve been a returning customer for years, and altho’ I’ve been reading your blog, I have never posted a comment. I feel it imperative to do so now. Strength in the face of adversity is admirable. Really admirable. But sharing it publicly like this is so incredibly brave that I, like everyone else here, just want to tell you that. Thank you for sharing your story. Framing it in the context of a sunflower is lovely. They turn their faces to the sun heads up. Sounds like you are doing the same.

• 84. Sarah S.&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:48 am

  Julie-

  I just had to leave a comment. I look forward to reading the emails that you send. I feel like we all know you and I feel as if you are a friend of mine. I guess sort of a pen pal but I never write to you! lol
  I wanted to cry for you when I read your post. I am so happy for you that you had the strength and courage to make things better for you and your children.
  I also want to share that I am a child from divorced parents. I was 8 while my younger sister was 3 when they decided to divorce. I have never resented the decision that was made. Sometimes it is worse to stay together than to go your seperate ways. I believe that I was able to be a much happier child in the end. Even though I was only 8 I still remeber so much of the screaming and yelling. Then it felt as though a weight was lifted when they divorced. Maybe I see it more clearly now.
  Kudos to you for what you have done. I am so proud of you! Stay strong- my prayers will be with you and your children!
  PS Thanks for sharing this difficult thing with us.

• 85. Annette P.&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:48 am

  Divorcing and seperating can be hard. I was devastated when I finally left my husband of 15 years. I had no idea how I was going to survive financially without his income to help. I was college educated and still had a hard time finding full time employment that would pay the bills much less have extra money. He had been emotionally and physically abusive for many years. I had to do what was best for my children even though my son took it very hard and caused me intense emotional grief because of it. I had to save myself and my children from that nightmare. Even though I knew it was for the best it took me about 9 months to finally come to terms with everything and to stop crying over it all. I had to seek counseling to have someone to talk to because I had no friends anymore. I finally met my best friend on myspace of all places. She lived in the same town as me and helped me get through it all by forcing me to go out with her and become social again. I had sworn off all men even though I occasionally dated. I then met my new husband of two years this Tuesday. I never thought I could be so happy as I am now. It was a hard ordeal but so much worth it in the end. My ex-husband is now in prison over drugs and regrets everything that he ever did to me and says he is glad I am happy. Hang in there, there will be tough times ahead but you seem like a very strong person and you will over come and be happy in the end even though it may seem like a loss right now.

• 86. Annabella&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:49 am

  Beautifully written, I feel for you & wish you well. x

• 87. Joy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:50 am

  Hi Julie,
  I certainly can relate to your feelings on life at the moment.My partner took a fatal heart attack last year.He was only 52.Just recently another man whom I have known through work for the last 25 years also passed away at 57.Both men had not yet retired and I have come to realise that I may not live long enough to reach retirement so maybe I should make the most of my life and enjoy it while I can.Life is too short.All the best to you and family.

• 88. Jessie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:51 am

  Good luck Julie. My divorce was finalized in May and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. There were good days and bad days, some days I didn’t know how I was going to go on…but you do. I can only advise you to let yourself feel the pain and cry it out when it comes. After you hit the bottom, you will come out so much stronger (if that’s possible for you), and you will know that you can do absolutely anything after what you have endured.

  Best of luck to you, your emails are always inspirational and I admire your openness and the strength that you have. Going through it is terrible enough, but letting others in a feat in itself. You will be happier than ever soon enough and as my mother would say “This too shall pass”.

  In my thoughts and hoping the best for you always!

• 89. Eve&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:56 am

  first you have ALWAYS been my favorite site for scrapping and now even more so for insperation. You are an amazing woman and what your children will see is a strong woman who can make tough choices to make life better. Sun Flowers were always my favorite flower and my thought was cause they always looked up! and they always looked on the brighter side! You did what you had to do for YOUR heart, YOUR soul and YOUR mental state of mind. If those are not happy and in tune, then nothing else ever will be, and your children will see tht as well.
  Good Luck, Keep your chin up, it wont always be easy but it will be an adventure!

• 90. Brenda&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:57 am

  Julie
  I have enjoyed reading your emails for awhile now and feel like i know you. My husband of 36yrs walked out on me in March…we were together 40yrs! I struggle everyday to make sense of this but thru my faith and a wonderful set of new friends I finally feel like i will make it. You are young and strong and have a great business so you will be fine. Children are resilient and with your love and understanding they will be fine too.Keep your faith and good luck!

• 91. Tina Edwards&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:57 am

  Hi Julie,
  I look forward to getting your email/blogs, they feel like I am catching up with an old friend!

  This one was like reading my own blog! I too ended my marriage although we’d only been married 7 years and had 3 children at the time. It has now been over 5 years and I remarried in April of 2008.

  I had been with my first husband from the age of 16 to 29. When we grew up in those years we were different people. I turned my life to God and prayed he would show me the way, His way, His plan and he did!

  My children now have a Mom, Step-Dad and a Dad to introduce their teacher to at Open House. Which we all go to TOGETHER. Teacher conferences, we sit together at their sports and school functions. Teachers, friends, and co-workers often comment on how nice it is that we can do those things. It really is about our kids, it isn’t easy for any of us, but we try and make it right for the kids.

  Blessings to you, your children, and your future.

  Tina

• 92. Jacqueline Roelands&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:58 am

  I went through a divorce many years ago and my sons were teenagers. It was the most difficult thing I ever did. I was very fortunate to have wonderful sons and we both made them feel loved.

  It won’t be easy but you are a strong person like me and you will make it and in the long run you will be so glad that you finally made the move.

  The children are a lot stronger than we give them credit for. Both of my sons have gone on and made wonderful careers for themselves.

  Good luck and be strong and you will be in my prayers.

• 93. Dawn Sapio&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am

  Julie,
  First – anyone who feels they need to tell you that you are wrong has not walked in your shoes to make that judgement.

  Second – A good friend of mine just left her husband of 20+ years of an abusive relationship. I also dealt with that in my own marriage but my spouse died suddenly so nature stepped in and made the decission I could not make. I still after 4 years am examining my life, motives, etc. and I am grateful there were no children involved. Focus on that flower and not just that it is pointing towards the sun but it blooms! Keep blooming like you are and you will be just fine. Like I told you about your friend who lost her husband in the accident you are exactly what she needs the one to tell her yes you can when she feels no I can’t. Find that special person to do the same for you and you will just keep blooming and blooming. You seem to be ok with the counseling thing so I would assume that if your kids needed it you would get it for them. Kids are amazing at how they can handle things so much better than we adults can. I applaud you for making a decision that in your heart felt necessary for everyone’s well being and for thinking so hard about it and not just throwing your arms up in the air and walking away because that was the easy road to take. You chose the hard road to make an already cool Julie and even better Julie. I admire you for that. Hopefully that helps and is not the standard hang in there. I wish people would just say nothing instead of hang in there sometimes. Keep blooming!
  Dawn S. Myrtle Beach, SC

• 94. Sandy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am

  I don’t know the circumstances, but I’ve been there. First, get his name off anything having to do with your business and finances. I learned the hard way. You will be fine and so will the kids. Praying for you!
  Sandy

• 95. Lisa Ritchie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am

  May God bless you and your new life ahead. I don’t think anyone but you should tell you right or wrong. Take care and all the best.

• 96. Sue&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:59 am

  Julie- I have never written, but after today I felt compelled to do so. I have always felt that you have given so much to your customers as well as your amazing staff, and that is why I love your site. I feel that I am a valued person, like a part of an extended family.I have never felt, that I am just another sale. With this being said, I want you to know that I admire you for saying that I am worth happiness!! This will get better. It may not always be easy, but heck with what you have already accomplished, I know you will survive. So keep your chin up and keep facing the sun. You have already given women reason to look up to you…but now some may have the power to also realize they too can be happy. You are an inspiration to me, and I thank you for sharing your life with us. I wish you the best and i will keep you and your children in my prayers. Just remember the next chapter in your life is about to begin…Enjoy!!!!!!

• 97. Kathleen&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:00 pm

  No one can tell you if the decision is the right one for you… I was divorced after 25 years – my father dying at age 69 was my wake up call. Your children will love you always, and if mama ain’t happy, then nobody is happy!
  Live each day with faith that the sun will come up each morning and give us another day to live life to the best of our ability. Take care of you and your children – and know that the support you need is all around you.

• 98. Dina Menard&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:01 pm

  Julie, I think you have to make what is the right decision for you. It sounds like you have thought this through and aren’t taking it lightly. Your children will be happy because you are happy!!! I wish you all of the best in this new chapter of your life. Stay Strong!

• 99. Joyce&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:03 pm

  Julie, I admire your move to independence. Too many ladies “stick it out for the kids” and it doesn’t help anyone. I was married (3 kids in 5 years) for 9 years to a secret gambler. When he started gambling with the rent money, I made the decision to move on. At that time divorce was looked down on, but I hung in there and went through some very difficult times. My kids blamed me for the breakup, but eventually the ex showed his true colors and my life with my kids was improved. I met a wonderful young man in the Navy willing to take on an “instant family” and the rest is history. Two weeks ago we celebrated our 40th anniversary. Keep your chin high and your attitude positive. Good luck to you and your children .

• 100. JaimeLadendorf&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

  Julie,

  I was married for 11 years and together for 13 and after I finally got the courage to leave. I did. I have a 10 year old girl and 5 year old girl and it was the best thing I ever did! It was not easy, but it molded me into a better person and taught me and my children how to be strong. It was the best thing I ever did, thats all I can say! Good luck!
  Jaime

• 101. June B&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

  I believe that you have to make the decision that is right for you and your family. And only YOU know what that is. I felt bad when I read you were the one to move out of the house. No one can say you didn’t try if for 15 out of the last 18 years together you’ve been in counseling.

  I wish you and the kids the best of luck as you begin your new lives. From reading your blogs/emails over the last year or so, I can tell you are a strong, determined woman and will be just fine.

• 102. Pamela&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:22 pm

  Hi Julie! I just wanted to share a little of my story with you. I come from divorced parents, and let me tell you I turned out just fine. It’s a hard decision you both had to make, but in the end it is the best one. Don’t worry so much for your kids. They know you both love them dearly. Hang in there, you already took the hardest step.
  I wish you all the best. =)

• 103. Barbie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

  Julie, You certainly are a poster child for “the unexamined life is not worth living” — you are brave not only to march into the unknown, but to write about it with such candor. My heart goes out to you.

  I remember when syt had maybe 4 categories. Your site was the one that convinced me I could afford to scrapbook, and do it my way, not through some conglomerate. I have scrapbooked or collaged or journaled all my life, just didn’t have a name or support. My first venture in sharing it was making an album for my Dad when he had alzheimers. He loved it, and we could sit down and read it like he was an excited kid. He would always say, “How do you remember all that stuff?” and I would say, “Dad, you’ve lived a hell of a life!” My dad is no longer with me, but that little book is just about sacred to me.

  A friend of mine and I are starting a wedding business, so I appreciate all your stories and advice about how you’ve grown your business, and your mentors. Commitment, perseverance, dedication, excellence, thanks for being a shining star.

  I am looking at a 24 year old marriage that hasn’t been fulfilling for at least the last 5 years or more, and thinking many of the same thoughts you shared. My 3 kids are grown, but my daughter and her two kids (8, with autism, 18 months and one due in December) are living with me now, so it is still the same pressure to hold things together for them.

  I was divorced with a 2 year old child (she is now over 30 and the mommy) and I know our life was indescribably better on our own. God bless you and yours. I love your blogs, your courage and humor, your quest and zest for life, and your products, too. Slainte!

• 104. Elaine&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

  One door closes and another one opens…. but it can be brutal in the hallway. You’re strong, and (I suspect) you’re tough; and you’re teaching your kids some very valuable lessons. And “happily ever after” really means just that: living your own life, following your own star. I applaud you.

• 105. Patty Stucker&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:34 pm

  Julie, I am so proud of the way you are handling this. The way you put it “we are doing our best to parent”. I love that. You guys may not be together, but you are doing your very best not to let it affect the kids anymore than it has to. Some people use the kids as pawns. I applaud you for not doing that. It takes a great deal of courage to make the decision you have made. Keep your chin up. Patty

• 106. Jane&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

  Julie,
  It is always scary of the uncertain, but you are taking a leap of faith. Faith that you made the right decision, faith that you will be the best parent ever and mainly faith in yourself as a person. I too, was in a bad marriage for 9 1/2 yrs with 2 children. I found my faith and took that leap. Paul/I recently celebrated our 23rd anniversary. The best thing I got out of those 9 1/2 years were my 2 girls. Now I have 2 more with Paul and 6 grandkids. We never know why things happen the way they do, but you know what is best for you and your children. Love you, HUGS, but most of all KEEP THE FAITH.
  lyonqueen

• 107. Elaine&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:49 pm

  Julie,

  I get so much encouragement and joy every week from your emails I had to share with you today. I encourage you to follow your heart. I too tried to make a marriage work and I was not happy. Twenty years ago I made the decision that I had to take care of myself and my children.

  I had all the same feeling you expressed. The fear, sadness, devastation and grieve will get better if you keep working on it with a counselor. The determination, strength and happiness will shine as you begin to heal.

  Yesterday was my son’s 32nd birthday and my daughter is 30. They are both happily married and doing great in life. My fear was that my divorce would scare them for life but they are doing just fine.

  I don’t normally give much advise but here are two things to think about – first of all take care of yourself. If you are happy and satisfied then your children will be also.

  Second is a little harder, make every effort to have times that Mommy and Daddy are with the kids. I was very angry for several years after my divorce and only talked to my ex as needed. Then I realized he was always going to be the kids father – the anger was hurting me and my daughters relationship with her dad. I made the decision to make it work when we were together. We are not best friends who call all the time – type thing. But when there are family events (weddings, babies being born, birthdays, etc.) we all get together. This is a good goal to strive for – you will be blessed in the end.

  Blessings to you during this time.

• 108. VIRGINIA (GINNY) MICELI&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:51 pm

  JUST READ YOUR STORY ABOUT THE DIVORCE. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I BELIEVE A HAPPY MOTHER IS MUCH BETTER THAN AN UNHAPPY ONE. (AND A HAPPY FATHER) I WAS DIVORCED IN 1985 WHEN MY SON WAS ONLY 5, AT FIRST IT WAS VERY HARD. ANYTIME HIS FATHER AND I SPOKE IT TURNED INTO AN ARGUMENT. THE GOOD NEWS IS…WE DID END UP FRIENDS AGAIN AND WORKED TOGETHER IN A 2 PERSON OFFICE UNTIL HE PASSED AWAY IN 03. WE HAD JOINT FAMILY PARTIES FOR OUR SON, GRADUATIONS AND BIRTHDAYS, EVEN THOU HIS DAD REMARRIED WE ATTENDED SCHOOL FUNCTIONS TOGETHER, I NEVER REMARRIED, SO WAS THE 3 OF US. THOSE FIRST FEW YEARS WERE HARD, BUT WE BECAME BEST FRIEDS AGAIN AND I MISS THAT MAN EVERY DAY. I’M SORRY IT DIDN’T WORK OUT THE WAY WE WANTED WHEN WE MARRIED, BUT EVEN MY SON AGREES IT WAS BEST AND HE HAD A GREAT RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS DAD. NOW MY SON AND I WORK TOGETHER. HOPE THIS HELPS.

• 109. Tracey&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:51 pm

  I have never been in that situation, and I pry to God that I never will. However, I have to say, life is to short not to be happy. You are not doing your children any favors by staying in a home where you and their father are not happy. Children are adjustable, and yes it will be hard at times, but they will be better for the change. I wish you all the luck in the world and all the best for your kids. You can do this! You will be fine! Life is what you make it. You’ll do great! The success of your company shows your strength, willpower and determination. And yes, if you are happier, not as stressed, not as angry, you are making the right decision. Good luck!

• 110. Maria&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

  Julie, I admire your courage in allowing so many of us into your life. When I got divorced I let as few people know as possible. I have never regretted my decision to get divorced because I felt that my children deserved a life full of peace, calm, and happiness, not one full of discord. I wish that peace, calm, and happiness for you and your kids, as well.

• 111. Marlene&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:09 pm

  I read your email today & was moved by the courage you had to make new choices in your life. Life is so short & you don’t want to have any regrets …. your children will see the strong woman you are & be inspired by that. Don’t ever look back or have doubts. I can tell by your email that you didn’t come to this place easily and 15 years of couselling is definitely giving it a chance. Move on, celebrate & rejoice in your new life ….. I’m sure in a few months I’ll be reading that it was the best choice of your life …..

  Congratulations

• 112. Sherri&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:13 pm

  Julie,

  I also went through a self examination about my life and like you made the decision that life was meant to be enjoyed and lived as I would like to live my life. After 7 years of marriage I divorced. The one piece of advice that I found to be true is you are a lot stronger than you believe. I went through some tough times and I made it through and found out that I am a very strong, independent women. As I know you will be too. Your decision is the right one and do not let anyone tell you differently.

• 113. Julie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:14 pm

  “This to shall pass”… I have been in your shoes. It’s not an easy decision. The hardest obstacle is getting over the feeling of feeling like a failure. Posting this for all of us to see had to take a huge amount of strength, so I commend you. You are not a failure, the marriage failed. A friend of mine, who was in the same situation, told me that he didn’t want his children growing up to believe that that is what love is. That statement really helped me believe that I was doing the right thing. I will be celebrating my 14th anniversary with my second husband soon. We too have had our ups and downs, marriage is so much work. We recently went camping, just the two of us, no kids, there was a lot of time for reflection. After that trip, we did some talking. I told him that I didn’t want to look back in 20 years and regret the decisions that I have made. I told him that there are only 2 things that I have ever wanted in a marriage. I never got either in my first marriage. However, he was only providing me with one. He is working hard on the second. My point is that it can work with the right person. It’s not going to be easy, the kids will adjust, and if someday you feel you are ready to do it again, learn from the past, and dive in. You are a successful and strong woman who will survive!

• 114. Angela Panza&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

  If you think it feels like the right decision, it probably is. A very long time ago I made what I thought was the right decision and I had a 3 month old, a 5 year old and a 6 year old. There were bumps along the way but today the 3 month old is a successful builder in the Hamptons in New York; the 5 year old is an architect/engineer who lives in a million dollar home and the 6 year old is a Senior Loan Officer who makes
  silly money. We did ok. You will too. Good luck.

• 115. Marlis&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm

  I lived 4 years with an alcoholic thinking I could make things better with blood, sweat & tears. In the end I walked away with barely my sanity and not much else. Julie, if it isn’t going to work, it isn’t going to work. You did the right thing. Kids are resilient. You will be the one hurting the most – missing the good times you had, the comfort of having someone there, the guilt over ending it. But listen, can’t you breath easier now? Aren’t the colours somehow more vivid? The pain and the longing go away and 5 years later, I am happier, healthier and a much more alive. You did the right thing.

• 116. Cindy Beecher&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:48 pm

  Congratulations Julie on making a tough choice to follow your heart and mind down a path of greater joy and peace. It takes great strength to choose what is true, right, and good.
  I wish you all the best.
  To let you know as well, I love shopping at ScrapyourTrip, you’ve made my scrapbooking much more fun!
  Here’s to new beginnings!!

• 117. Joan Gonzalez&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

  If you’ve been in counseling for 15 years I think you already knew in your heart the relationship was broken. I’m very sad for you and the tough times that you’ve had and will go through but you are also very brave! You’re not just settling for mediocrity! You’re hopeful for a better life and it will be, with the hardest step already behind you!

• 118. Marti&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:55 pm

  I read your email today and was moved by your courage to make the choice you have and to make YOU happy! I too have gone through the divorce scene and will admit it’s hard at times, especially in the beginning, my son was just 2yrs at the time but I survived and over the years my son and I have grown closer together from the experience.

  Several years back I found someone new and wonderful and got remarried, I pray that for all the single parents out there. Just because one relationship doesn’t work out like you thought doesn’t mean that God doesn’t have another plan for your life.

  I pray that God keeps you and your family safe and strong through these times and in the future. And may He bless you with much deserved happiness.

• 119. Charlene Daly&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 1:58 pm

  Hi Julie,
  I’ve never read your blog, but when I read you were divorcing I had to send you a hang in there email…I’m about to embark on the same journey after 30 years of marriage, 3 kids, and 5 years of living separately in our home until our youngest graduated from high school and left for college. It’s been a painful 5 years since my husband told me he didn’t love me anymore & we haven’t even started the legal process yet !!! I am still trying to learn not to question why or dwell on the what-ifs. Some things you just can’t control. I worry about my kids even though they’re 28, 26 & 18. I am trying to be strong & happy for them & for me!!!

• 120. Jo&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:08 pm

  Your honest expression of your emotions, thoughts and ideas is to be admired.
  I pray that you maintain your strength and integrity…..you can’t go wrong then. Decisions such as the one you just made are not easy, but then, life isn’t easy, even though worthwhile. Kids know and realize a lot more than most adults can imagine. I divorced in 1983 after 12 years of marriage. Shortly after the divorce, while riding along in the car, my daughter, then age 6, said out of the blue….”mom, I knew you and daddy were going to get a divorce”. I said, you did? “Yes, she said, you never smiled!”
  That says volumes, doesn’t it????
  I’m keeping you in my prayers, please do the same for me…..after 21 years of employment with the same company, my job was eliminated in June this year…..still looking for the new position that He has in store for me!
  Never take on the guilt that will come in your thoughts or from some folk’s comments………you did what you deemed best for yourself and kids……..that’s all anyone can do!
  P.S. I have only placed one order with your company so far, but will tell you that I’m very impressed with the quality and service you’re providing to scrapbook addicts such as myself!!!

• 121. Julianna Greene&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:15 pm

  Julie,

  You have so much courage. This is the first time that I have commented on your e-malis, but I wanted to say how moved I was that you shared such a painful and personal decision with us. I hope that it all works out for you and your kids.

• 122. Angelique&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

  Julie …. you are a brave and strong women,you will be fine. Stick to your guns and remember that even though things seem out of place at times, love and understanding will always come tru. I’ve watched and seen you rise above alot, and I know you will come thru this with your beautiful smile and you nack for making money. I will always remember you getting me my first birthday cake,,, it was so yummie. Don’t give up. it will be hard but heck isnt life wonderful.

• 123. Donna&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:30 pm

  Julie, I say you have to listen to your heart. It will never steer you wrong. Our emotions change daily, but our heart will never lie to us. I’ve been down that road.
  Left after 22 yrs of marriage, had 2 sons at the time 12 & 16 who stayed with dad as he was not paying support. But now 11 yrs later I am remarried & happier than I ever dreamed, my sons are 24 & 29, youngest is now in NC where I am & my oldest just left Monday for Iraq for 1 yr.
  I will need some custom lasers. Hang in there. You will
  do fine !! Love your website ! Missed your booth in Charlotte this year.

• 124. iLynn Young&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

  My husband of 28 years left me last summer. Although this not a choice I made, I feel a kindred spirit. We are still not filing for divorce and so far I have been unable to move on. Friends who have been there keep telling me “Only you will know when it’s time” You are the only person who can determine what is right for your family. Make the best decisions you know how to do and don’t let anyone judge you. Good luck to you!

• 125. Karen in Indiana&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

  Julie,

  I love your analogy about the sunflower! You can do this and your kids will survive and thrive. I’ve been a single mom for 23 years (my boys are 21 and 23) That’s not to say there won’t be some rough days, sad nights, hours of wondering if you did the right thing, hours of knowing you made the right decision, maybe some regrets (and no regrets). Be strong my friend, turn your face to the sun and put your faith and trust in your God.

• 126. Brenda Anderson&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 2:37 pm

  Julie-

  I want to you know what divorce is like from the kids perspective… my parents were married 13yrs and miserable. My sister and I grew up in an unhappy home until finally my parents realized it just wasnt going to work, my sister and I were happy! We saw the struggle and pain in our parents and didnt want either of them to feel that way. Although it was rough in the beginning for everyone, it gradually got better and better. Time heals all wounds and kids will be kids… we live in the good moments and seldom remember the bad ones! Although we’ve never met when I read your blogs about your life I feel as if you were someone in my own family… and from my heart to yours know that you did the right thing, your life will be better than you couldve ever imagined, and your kids will grow and learn from this experience in more ways than you will ever know. My mother is my hero, my best friend and someone I hold high admiration for…. always know that your kids will hold these same feelings towards you and as they get older know you made the right choice when you choose divorce. No one is happy when Mom and Dad aren’t happy. I hope this helps and look forward to seeing and hearing about all your new adventures.

• 127. Carrie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 3:20 pm

  Julie,

  THANK YOU. I’ve been fighting a similar internal battle for months and even though I know I’ve been unhappy and unfulfilled, I’ve been afraid of the unknown – therefore I’ve done nothing. Sadly, my friends, family and even children see my unhappiness. My husband is a good man and father… but after 12 years I know he just isn’t a good fit for me. I find your commitment to your children and future inspiring. You are an amazing woman Julie. Thank you for sharing with us all. You gave me some things to think about. Good luck to you. I know you will continue to be successful and thrive! When I’m ready to make my decision… I’m buying some sunflowers for my front door. Thank you again!

• 128. JoeAnn Johnson&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 3:32 pm

  Julie,
  I think you have make the right decision. I have always felt it is better for kids to see two happy parents apart than two miserable ones together. You are the only one that knows what is good for you and your family. Best of luck to you in the future.

• 129. Nancy M&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 4:07 pm

  Hi Julie, just wanted to say I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, and hugs to you.

• 130. Lori&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 4:20 pm

  Julie,
  Years ago I was in a similar situation…my ex told me he was unhappy and my marriage dissolved. After much soul searching, I realized that I was just as unhappy. Fast forward to present day. I thank God every day that my ex had nerve to say he wasn’t happy because I got to reinvent my life, and I can honestly say, I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. Your kids will be fine, when they see how much happier (and I’m sure calmer) you are, they will be too!

• 131. Linda&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 5:09 pm

  Julie,
  Just trying to think what exactly to write. 4 1/2 years ago I found out my ex had a secret bank account to move out but not brave enough to just tell me. Things had not been great for years but since I never think of myself as a quitter I could not just call it over til confronting him and he finally telling me he was moving out. I have three great children now freshman in college, freshman in HS and 6th grade who are all musically involved in school. I took up the scrapbooking hobby after he left because it was easier than concentrating on cross-stitch which is my first love. (and thanks to your company had a wonderful display at my son’s HS grad party) I realize looking back that I gave up many things I enjoyed to try to keep him happy with the family and while my kids have kept me busy with many things, I can still take time for myself. There are stills ups and downs and I cannot give my kids some things I’d love to but I wouldn’t trade any of the time I have to spend with them:)

• 132. Dolores Rose&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 5:28 pm

  Julie, sweetie, I wish I were there to give you a big hug!! I am so sorry to hear of the problems you have been having with a marriage that is dissolving. I know you have really thought this through as that is the person you are. LIfe is too short to live together if you are unhappy together. The kids do notice that Mom and Dad are not happy and can feel it. I lived with two parents who were always fighting and screaming with each other for several years before they got a divorce and finally the house was peaceful again. Mom had some rough spots but met a man a few years later who treated her like a queen. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as you get through this rough spot in your life. Please try to keep the relationship between you and Tony civil so that the kids can feel comfortable with both of you or visiting one or the other. That in itself will be very hard, but I’ve seen so many when the kids visit with mom that she fills the kids’ heads with bad things about their dad, and when they visit their dad, they are uncomfortable to be with him, or treat him badly or tell him what their mom had said about him.
  The kids will have some issues in the days ahead as to why mom and dad aren’t together but knowing that when they can see mom more at peace and laughing more and feeling better about herself, the kids will understand.
  I know your parents aren’t close by, but do you have good friends or a church family who can stand with you and support you and help you when times are hard? A church family can really help and pray with and for you and give you strength when you feel you aren’t strong enough. I know that you are a strong woman and that you can face challenges as they come along, but to have someone who “has your back” will even make you feel stronger.
  We will be keeping you in our prayers so please know that and wrap yourself in this as I am hugging you now ((((((Julie))))))

• 133. Roseann&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 5:42 pm

  Julie, I wish you the best. You are in my prayers. Just know that you are doing what is right for your family. Some people stay together for the kids and in the mean time the kids are miserable because the parents are miserable. I know there is someone out there for you. You seem to be a very warm, caring person to do such a big step to make your family happy. I wish you all of the best. Hopefully you will find someone to make your life as happy and as fulfilling as mine. I am proud to say I am with my husband for 26 yrs. Married 16 and dated for 10. God bless you,

  Roseann

• 134. Marilyn&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 5:44 pm

  Wow. You sure have courage to tell us all of this. I always enjoy reading the emails you send. It feels like you are right there talking with me. I wish you and your children all the best in the future.

• 135. marylee&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 5:56 pm

  Iif theres an award for the best/worst divorce story I will win it hands down. I was married for 39 yrs….My husband fell in love with the choir director at our church who was also married and had 2 small children. Our two children were growm and married with children of their own. AND My husband was GAY. I had always had an uneasy feeling but since he was my first and only love, I really had nothing to compare it to. My husband idea of divorce was, we were through and so we would seprate and he would go his way and I mine. Thank God I got a very smartlawyer quite by accident, who guided me every step of the way. I am very well off financially (not rich…but comfortable) living off my husbands very generous pension. I thought I could not live without him but I have not only survived but thrived. He died 4 years after we divorced and i miss him still…but it only takes a moment to remember the way he treated me especially at the end. I have my wonderful children/grandchldren and scrapbooking to keep me busy and happy. I still believe he used his family as a cover for his sexual orientation for many years and in retrospect, There were a lot of clues that I chose to ignore. I will never, nor have I tried, to find another mate. I will not live long enough to trust another man….but I am very happy in my grandma life. I hope you will want to find someone else, but if you dont, Life can still be beautiful. I wish you much happiness…..It truly can happen

• 136. Leslie G&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 6:12 pm

  My sister has also made this decision. I applaud that you have the strength to leave before it gets awful. I too divorced when my kids were young. Advice: Never talk trash about him – he may be a jerk, but you loved him once. You are your own security — you are responsible for you – and your children. Not for him, not anymore. As I read your post, I could feel a certain lightness in your verbiage…. a great is lifted as the decision was made. Go forward… remember, you are divorcing HIM not his family, try to keep in touch with them.
  I wash you all the best.
  Hugs
  Leslie

• 137. Kathy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 6:30 pm

  I have never written on the blog before but I am a frequent customer and always am thrilled with my purchases. I want to wish you all the happiness in the world. You have made a difficult choice but did so out of love for your children and the courage to discover who you really are. Your children will be fine because they have you as an excellent role model. Remaining in a unhappy marriage only breeds more unhappiness. God will give you the strength to find your path. There will certainly be dark moments but look to the light that the sunflowers always find. God bless you.

• 138. Donna&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 6:39 pm

  I know what it is like to be a single parent. But if you feel that it is the best decision for you and your children, then you’ve done all that you can. It will be hard at first, but in the end all of you will be better for it. Take strength from your family and close friends. Remember to make time just for you. If you are happy and content so will the children. You don’t know how strong you really are until you are called on to be so, and you have proven that you can accept this challenge and see it through with positive results. God Bless you and yours.

• 139. Patti&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 6:52 pm

  Julie, Although I do not know you personally, I felt compelled to write and let you know that there is life AFTER divorce! I got married when I was 18. Soon after, I realized that it was a mistake (long story). At first, I could not see divorce as an option for me. I kept thinking that if I tried harder everything would be okay. After my son was born, I feared for his life, as well as mine. I got up one morning, took my child and fled. I did not have a job, and I had no idea where I was going to go. God is good…He lead me down the right path to shelter and safty. My husband and I divorced and I never remarried. Twenty seven years later, my son and I are safe and happy. So, my friend, the journey may be hard and long, but the sunflowers will always be there if you look for them. Always look ahead…NO REGRETS!!! Listen to your heart. Take care of yourself and your precious children…happiness is just over the horizon.

• 140. Mary Becker&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 6:59 pm

  Hang in there. It does get better. I promise. Through it all as a mom, I am willing to bet that you will put your children first. I did, but I forgot myself. Be sure to take care of YOU. Cry when you need to cry and seek out those whom you love and love you. Let them give you a hug, make you laugh and support you through this. This is a tough process but all of you will be better for it. I went through a horrible divorce. But, I am so happy and proud of my girls and the women they have become.

• 141. Leah C&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 7:12 pm

  I have never been married, nor am I a child of divorced parents, but I have seen enough of my friends and family members go through this to know a few things:
  1. One happy parent is better than two miserable ones. You can teach your children to love better that way. To grow up in a house of a loveless marriage has done so much damage to people I know.
  2. Whatever you and your spouse are going through, keep the children out of it. My nephews have gotten lost in the battle between their parents and it saddens me that they can’t rise above it and see who is really losing in it all, the children. The kids still see both their parents as heroes, don’t let unkind words ruin or tarnish their image of the other parent.
  3. Remain as strong as you can for the sake of the children, but you do have to find the time to grieve for the loss of what you had. Don’t just be the mom, be the woman who is hurting too. So many people get swept up and never properly grieve for what they had. Take advantage of having a journal or a girlfriend to talk to.
  I have always loved reading your family adventures and stories you post, you are an inspiration. You can feel the light and radiance as you read the pride you have in your children, your life and your business. Take pride in that, and solace too, when needed. I am sure the road ahead will not always be a smooth one, but I am sure you will make it. If not, all the comments on your blog should bring you through! Take care and stay strong!

• 142. Theresa&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

  I’m so sorry that you are going through this difficult time, but am impressed with your positive and determined attitude. Your children will be fine as long as you BOTH love them as you are doing. My thoughts are with you. Theresa

• 143. Lisa VanDerveer&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 7:53 pm

  Julie

  I am proud of you and happy for you. I always enjoy reading your posts and was surpised at your candid revelation. I know that no one comes to that decison easily, especially with children so my hats off to you. If you have been in counseling for 15 of the 18 years you were definately not with your “one” and there are probably bigger issues that couldn’t be fixed.

  Enjoy your new condo, your freedom, your children and your awesome business and your “online” friends.

  all the best always
  Lisa VanDerveer

• 144. Diana Burkett&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 8:05 pm

  Julie, I know from experience that this was a very difficult decision for you. But, you seem to be a really strong person with a good head on your shoulders. Your kids will do fine. The only bit of advice I can suggest is to try and remain on good terms with their father, no matter what happens. I am a firm believer that, just because the two of you couldn’t make a go of it, doesn’t mean that your kids have to suffer because of it. The kids are what is important or you wouldn’t have done this.

  Hang in there. Keep busy (that’s a joke, I am sure). But, most of all, don’t let anyone try and talk you out of your decision.

• 145. lehmancuny&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 8:12 pm

  Julie, I feel for you and your children on a deep, cellular level. I have been there and will not tell you it is an easy trip. After the shock wears off–and it can take years–the kids might not be so accepting. Mine weren’t. But I learned that through honest communication, and loving yourself enough to respect yourself and not make excuses, emotions can regroup and bonds can become even stronger than you can imagine. People may argue that human beings don’t have a “right” to be happy (it’s the pursuit we’re entitled to), but I believe you do have the right to not be in pain. Good luck with your journey and strive, even in the tough times, to be the role model for your children that you want to be.

• 146. Linda Anderson&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 8:32 pm

  Julie,
  I really, really know what you are feeling right now. I too have recently seperated from my husband of 27 years. Actually, we formally seperated in January of this year. We were married for 27 years this past May after being together since I was 13 years old….so that makes 35 years.
  Since I moved out in January I have been on a “trip of emotions” just like you explained. I am here to tell you that it gets better with time. Each and every day that you are living seperately from him makes it easier to face the next day….and so on. I congratulate you on stepping up and doing the right thing for you. I know it’s difficult, but you will be a better person for it. We all only have one life to live and every moment you spent in an unhappy relationship is time that you cannot get back. Rely on your friends and family for support and get out there and meet new friends and do all those things that you’ve always wanted to do. Remember to live life to the fullest every day and this will make your “transition period” much easier to live through. It’s a time for grieving the loss of your marriage but also a time for renewal…..make the most of it, you are getting a second chance at happiness….grab onto it with both hands and hang on. Best of luck for a happy and healthy future.

  Linda Anderson
  West Chicago, Illinois

• 147. Vicki&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 8:32 pm

  Julie-
  I have never been in your situation, I’ll be married 30 years in December…..what I do want to say is that it is a VERY brave thing you did – from what I’ve read from your story is that you did the best that you could, and now it is time to move forward….I’m sure it is a scary, confusing and unsure time for all of you, but with the support of your family and friends, and all of us who have never met you, (but would like to!), I’m sure you will be fine….keep your chin up, and if you need to have a good cry, DO IT!

• 148. Hinson Stephens&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 8:41 pm

  Julie,

  Coming from my male perspective. I was married for 10 years the first time. I made a similar decision to leave when my children were 3 and 5. It was extremely difficult and hard – knowing I likely would not get primary custody. My ex was extremely bitter and nasty.

  The most important thing from my perspective is this – pay real close attention to your kids and be really, really, really careful about how you and Tony talk about each other. It is so damaging for the kids to hear something negative (or worse) about their other parent from someone they love and unfortunately, it happens alot because of the anger that usually accompanies a divorce.

  Get more counseling for all of you!

  I am sure you will do great, I just went through a horrible divorce and it really was damaging to my children (both have been in drugs and one is running from the law as we speak).

  Enough depressing talk …

  I have been re-married now for 15 years and I am extremely happy. We have 4 children including the two mentioned (23 and 20) plus my wife’s 24 year old ( now living at home – can you say BOOMERANG) and OUR 7 year old son. Life is good – not what I expected – but fantastic. God blessed us with a child when my wife was 47!

  Best of luck to you. I’ll be praying for you and your family – especially the kids.

• 149. Kathy&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 8:44 pm

  I have been divorced for 12 years now. There is one song that I played over and over again. I think it is by Gloria Gaynor- “I will survive”. It’s true-you will survive.

• 150. Sofia&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 9:31 pm

  Julie – I was not surprised by your announcement of divorce. I could tell by the reflections you were making that it was coming because I was there five years ago. Bravo to you for taking charge of YOUR LIFE. I know it was a hard decision so be gentle on yourself and make sure you get plenty of rest because you will be using a lot of energy as you recalibrate to your new life. I am so glad I made that decision despite the pain it also caused my son. We are both living a more peaceful and happier life now. You and the kids will come out on the other side glorious and in tact. Keep looking to the sun. Bless you.

• 151. Teri&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:02 pm

  I’ve been through this on both sides. My parents split when I was in the 4th grade and the divorce was final when I was in the 8th. (I really hope yours is shorter.) I got divorced in law school, but several years later met an awesome guy. What got me through all of that was the strength of my mother. Good luck to you, and you kids, and their dad.

• 152. Christie&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 10:20 pm

  Julie,
  Placed my first order from your site a couple of weeks ago. Love it!!!!

  I think it’s great that you share your life with your customers.

  I divorced when my daughter was 3, she is almost 21 now. When she was 16 she thanked me. My ex wasn’t an addict or physicaly abusive or any of the obvious things but it was very tense and unhappy and I know I’m a better mother and person than I was then. I remarried when she was 8 and my husband had a 6yr old daughter. We have been married 12 yrs now, wow what a difference this marriage is and the girls have been closer than most sisters.

  Keep your head up and keep on loving your kids and yourself!!!!

• 153. Robin Spencer&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:00 pm

  Good for you, and yes there will be many tough times, but they will only make you stronger. I will be married to my 2nd hubby 16yrs on the 17th and he is my sunflower. Keep your chin up and enjoy your life to the fullest!

• 154. Donna Harris&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:04 pm

  Dear, dear Julie ~ Remember several weeks ago when you spoke about getting physically checked instead of just ignoring the pebbles and letting them grow into bolders? I posted a saying on the blog that I truly believe, in the situation of every woman who needs to be empowered to take a step that they know in the deepest realm of their heart needs to be made. applies to LIVES and families, not just health. That saying is -
  The 5 most dangerous words:Maybe It Will Go Away!
  This is dangerous for the soul of a person, struggling day after day, thinking and hoping that the pain and trouble will just go away. What ends up going away is self-esteem, self-respect and pure joy of living! There comes a time when you just have to walk away from you! There may be a few pieces to pick up, but not as many as there would have been if you had stayed in such a trying situation! I applaud the fact that you and your husband will continue to be a solid presence in the lives of your children, even though apart. They will feel the difference in the air and find that they, also, are breathing easier!
  May God’s presence be full in your new life adventure! God bless!

• 155. Jery&hellip  |  September 9th, 2009 at 11:26 pm

  Julie, my heart goes out to you – it is a difficult process no matter what side you are on. My 17th anniversary is September 19th – and on August 7th, my husband admitted he was in love with a former classmate and was moving to another state to live with her. We too had spent time in marriage counseling, ten years ago, and it was not shocking in and of itself, the only shock that remains is how self involved he is acting through it all. I can tell that you are nothing like that – I commend you for being strong, moving forward, and showing your children how to find their own path to happiness. life is truly too short to be miserable. A favorite saying of mine is “The will of God will not take you where the grace of God will not protect you” – I hope it might bring you some comfort for those moments that are difficult on your journey. Best of luck to all of you!

• 156. Dee Ahonen&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 12:45 am

  It’s been 21 yrs. since my sister’s divorce after 24 yrs. married. She’s just celebrated 22 yrs. of happiness with her second husband. He’s on his third marriage (one divorce & one he lost to cancer) & he’s happy as well. I wish you all the happiness you can hold!

• 157. Rosalie&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 1:02 am

  Julie…what a heartfelt message you wrote. There are no guarantees that this change in your lives will be better for all of you, but you have to believe in yourself that you made the right decision for you and your children. I’ve been where you are at, and at times, I wish I could have done things differently, especially where my kids were concerned. They were 8 and 9 when I left their dad the second time. Hinson’s post gave some valuable insight…try not to say anything negative about the other parent to the kids or argue in front of them. I didn’t do this and I know it hurt our kids, especially our son. Ultimately, they are the ones who suffer the most from divorce, but if both parents can agree to be respectful to one another, the kids will hopefully be okay. I remarried and just celebrated 24 years to a wonderful man who is my best friend. I even survived breast cancer. There were days I didn’t know what my purpose in life was and I had a few “pity parties” but I tried to stay faithful to my belief that God never gives us more than we can handle. I admire your courage to stand by your beliefs and take that first giant step. Hang in there…it will be okay. It just takes time.

• 158. Pamela Hill&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 2:06 am

  How to Dance in the Rain

  It was a busy morning, about 8:30 , when an elderly gentleman in his 80s arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

  While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.
  The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

  He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.
  As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

  He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
  I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’

  He smiled
  as he patted my hand and said,
  ‘She doesn’t know me,
  but I still know who she is.’
  I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,

  ‘That is the kind of love
  I want in my life.’

  True love is neither
  physical, nor romantic.
  True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought
  I could share with you.
  The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything;
  they just make the best
  of everything they have.
  I hope you share this with someone you care about.
  I just did.
  ‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

• 159. Mary&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 3:16 am

  Julie,
  Life is so full of changes. It is had to look ahead without questioning every move we make on a day to day basis.: espcially for a Mom. Be confident and I know that you made the right decision at the right time. Keep looking forward. Things always work out as they should and have faith. Your friends will be there to hold you up and cheer you on! Just count all of these responses!
  Your children are trying to make the best of it! Go ride the elevator with your kids and enjoy the ride up! And if that ride is too short there are many bigger elevators at Disney to try!
  And if you want to really see sunflowers- head to Tuscany, Italy! They stretch for miles and miles and the smell is heavenly!
  Take care!
  Mary

• 160. Michele&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 3:48 am

  Put the kids first, they will know no difference (not hyper-parent) show them the love you both have for them has NOT changed. One day at a time … you will get through. God bless you all.

• 161. Judy&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 6:33 am

  Julie,
  I admire your determination to move on. I, too divorced, but it was not my choice. I always believed that I was handed a gift and I would make the bests of it. My Mom’s words echoed daily as I dealt with emotions and situation. “And this , too shall pass” kept me going. I raised 2 very stable, independent and very successful children, working 2 or more jobs. Yes , it all passed- the regrets, the self doubts, the pain, and the fear. And now I am so happily married and scrapbooking all the happiness those years gave me. Stay strong and this , too shall pass!

• 162. Joan&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 7:14 am

  I have never posted on a blog before, but reading your message today made me want to respond.

  We all have defining moments in our lives. I had a disastrous first marriage, but have a wonderful daughter as a result of it.

  I married again in 2002, and things did not go well. My husband was still totally wrapped up in wife number one, but I loved him and tried to make it work, even though my daughter (who was in high school at the time) did not get along very well with him.

  Then, in June of 2005 my daughter was in a terrible car accident that could easily have claimed her life. That was MY wake up call. I could not stay in a marriage that was not giving me what I wanted and needed. I left and it was probably the smartest decision I ever made.

  I know it is different for you, because you and your husband have children together, but you are absolutely right that a strong and happy mother is important. I don’t know how old your children are, but you also don’t want them to grow up thinking … is this what love and marriage are supposed to be like? I have a friend going through something similar, and I worry every day about what her kids are thinking.

  I wish you the best of luck. We are all here for you.

  Joan

• 163. Joan&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 7:27 am

  Julie- I wish you the best of luck. I know that it took a lot of strenght to make the decision and it is very scary of what lies ahead, but it is also very exciting to see what lies ahead. The kids will be fine you will be surprised how quickly they can bounce back. I enjoy reading your emails each week and look forward to hear of all your new adventures. You know you have an exteded family that will support you and wish you luck.

  Joan

• 164. Ingrid&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 7:36 am

  Hi Julie.. I am so sorry you and your children are going through this. Sometimes we stay in relationships just for our children amnd that just makes it worst. My husband of 17 years and I have gone through similiar issues. We met in our teens and now at almost 40 we have a great relationship. Not to say we did not have our issues. We spent sometime apart just as you are but somehow managed to work our way back together. I had given up all hope of an US. You never know maybe separation is what you need. Only you in the end can say that it is truly over or say its worth one more shot some where down the line. Best of luck to you and your family. Good luck in your new condo. Love the wreath on the door.
  Ingrid

• 165. Susan Baker&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 7:59 am

  Have you read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It sounds like you could relate to her. I highly recommend it.

• 166. Leanne&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 8:23 am

  Julie–I went through the same thing a year ago. I had completely lost myself. Read “Happily Ever After:Walking with Peace and Courage through a year of Divorce” by Kristin Armstrong. She is Lance Armstrong’s ex-wife. It is just daily devotionals, but in the beginning that was about all I could digest! I can tell you that I am much healthier and happier, though it was a very painful experience, and I still grieve the loss of my dream. I am finally ME again. The best part: being very controlling, my ex-husband hated all my other activities, including my scrapbooking, but now I can do it whenever I please! Hang in there and know that God has a wonderful plan for your life.

• 167. Kathy Stockton&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 8:36 am

  Julie,
  As you know, I’m a long term loyal customer and I love your blogs. They are so sweet. This latest one just blew me away.
  I’ve been there, done that, and absolutely feel for you. It has been awhile but gee, I can still emphathize with that “roller coaster!” It hurts but sometimes we have to make hard decisions. Trust in yourself; never second guess your decision, and know that all the emotions that you are currently feeling are valid. I am proud of you. It takes so much courage to admit failure and be the one to opt out of a hopeless situation. Life isn’t easy and I m sure you are feeling grief at the end of what has been and the loss of what might have been.
  Life has a way of working itself out in the long run.
  Stay positive. Keep your face to the sun and know that you will always have the support of your Scrap Your Trip family including me. Wish I could give you a big hug.
  Kathy

• 168. Michelle&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 9:45 am

  Julie,
  Sometimes life throws us rotten tomatoes. As women, and mothers, we learn to deal with it. You’ve proven you’re a strong woman, and a good mother. I too was faced with this in June of 2002 when my husband of 22 years walked out. To begin with, I thought my life was over…but I got strong for my children. It’s been seven years, and I’m the happest I’ve ever been with two sucessful, happy children. Scrapbooking helped a lot…helped me remember the good times. I’ve even scrapbooked a couple of pages that include his pictures…but I always use eyelettes on those pages so I can use a hammer to set them (that really helps). And of course I’m joking about that…Love your children, love your life, and everything else just falls into place. You have a wonderful business, and people who love you. Stay strong.
  Michelle

• 169. Jillian Clement&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 9:46 am

  I have felt like I was getting to know you and enjoy your emails very much. After thinking that you sounded like the happiest around I am shocked to hear of your divorce. My heart goes out to you, but you sound like a very strong person and I know you will come out on top!! It will take time but you will get there and look back in years knowing it was the best thing you could have done.
  All my best wishes,

  Jillian

• 170. Barbara&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 9:52 am

  Julie,
  I think I actually sobbed outloud when I read your latest email. Breaking up is never easy, saying goodbye is never easy, starting over is never easy…but you are doing the right thing, not only for you and Tony, but the children as well.
  I was divorced after 12 years together, left alone with two small children. Only I was truly on my own…my ex didin’t just divorce me, he divored the entire family! Some days I felt like life had come to an end and some days I felt like I couldn’t wait for a new day to begin. What inner turmoil!
  That was over 20 years ago now. I have since gone on to remarry…an incredibly wonderful man, my “soulmate”, who I would never have had the honor of knowing had it not been for that difficult decision made so long ago. I am truly happy with my life and myself, something else that would never have happened.
  My girls have grown into happy, healthy, well adjusted adults. I don’t believe that would be the case had I stayed in the first marriage. It doesn’t matter if they grow up in a home living with one parent or two, the important thing is that children grow up in a home where their parents are happy….that will have such an affect on them.
  Obviously this decision was not taken lighty and you have done what you feel in your heart is the right thing, so keep your chin up…it WILL get better!
  I wish you all the best with this next chapter of your life. And please know that you have lots of friends out here, we’re here when you need us!
  Sending lots of love and sunflowers your way!
  Barbara

• 171. Gail Brandt&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 11:38 am

  Hi Julie
  Thank you for sharing your story – it does feel like we are all “part of a family” here. Like so many other stories I’ve read on your blog today I have also been divorced now for more than 10 years. I was in a verbally abusive marraige and also thought what about our daughter – but you know she turns 22 next week and has grown into her own person. She was way better off with one happy parent than two unhappy people fighting all the time. Too many times we think about others before putting ourselves first. Your kids will do just fine – they have 2 parents who love them but unfortunately who do not love each other. I am now involved with an awesome man – it took 10 years but it feels right again. There is a really good poem about people who come into our lives for a season or for a reason – just remember every person who comes into our lives is there for a reason and for us to learn from that person – thank him for the lessons he taught you and let him go with love.
  Much love and hugs to you

• 172. Lynsey&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

  Love & Hugs Julie – You are a strong person and even though your children are young it will give them time to grow with the decision – The older it gets the harder it gets so you go girl and conquer all oxoxoxoxoxox

• 173. April Joy Ping&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 1:02 pm

  My story was a little different, I was trying to hang on and he left. I was so bitter at first, but gradually I have learned to find myself. You see, I was engaged at 18, married 4yrs later and 2 kids in the next several years, all while I was in medical school, then he went back to vet school. I had never had the opportunity to determine who the adult “me” was. He wasn’t abusive or overbearing or anything else, but he was so confident and had so many interests that I just went along for the ride. Finding “me” has been so exhilirating, I now know my own music preferences, eating preferences, ways to spend free time, etc. Being a single parent has been tough, he left the kids too and has really been useless as a parent, but even that has its rewards. Soon after my divorce a pastor said something in a sermon that has always helped me, “God can take something that shouldn’t be (like divorce) and create what can and should be (a fulfilling and joyful life for all involved).” Remember he can work in any circumstance for His own Glory – just keep your eyes and faith on Him.

• 174. Lisa&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

  Julie:
  I, too, divorced when my child was 5 years old. I was miserable. To this day, we are better off as friends than married. We raised our daughter making decisions that would be in her best interest. We always worked things out for HER!! It worked She is now 20 years old and we all get along great! By the way, I remarried and have been with my husband for 11 years and it is WONDERFUL!
  Good luck to you and your family!

• 175. Kathleen Murphy&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

  Hi Julie:

  I’ve never left a comment before and am not usually a blogger in general, but your last update struck a chord in me. I, too, was divorced from my first husband who was my high school sweetheart. He was my whole life for ten years – 5 dating and 5 married. Even though we hadn’t had children yet, it was in the plan and we were just starting to try for a baby when he abruptly walked out on me when I was 27 years old!!! The shock of it caused me to lose 20 pounds in about a month and a half and I didn’t need to lose any either. I learned to just wake up each day and accept it with all of its possibilities. However, I was never able to truly find out what happened nor able to address anything in counseling as I would have liked. Bottom line was there was no closure and I still live with those unanswered questions even 22 years later and remarried with a 10 year old son. I’ve also learned to follow the advice of the Serenity Prayer

  I applaud you for not only having the courage to do what sounds like is best for everyone, but also for making your best effort to work on your relationship with your husband over the years. You can feel good about the fact that you did everything in your power to strengthen and save your marriage!

  In some of your other blogs about starting up Scrap Your Trip, you talked about “feeling the pain and doing it anyway” and so you’ve already walked the road untaken. You have already proven that you are a strong, resiliant person inside and the only thing your children need to feel/see from you is the love you’ve always had for them all along.

  Many Blessings to you and your children as well as your husband in the journey ahead. Like the sunflower, keep your eyes always toward the sun and you will shine.

• 176. Kay&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

  Hi Julie,
  We’ve met along the way, probably at an Expo. I was so touched by your story and so many comments from so many people! I’m glad you made the hardest decision of your life, but you made the right decision. Never settle for less! I was married at 18, had my daughter at 20 and divorced at 21. He never stopped dating. I dated for 9 years on and off, until, I thought, I had met the right person. I met a wonderful man 9 years older than myself, dated him for 2 years, thinking now I know this person. We got married and this past June was 30 years of marriage. Well, now I’m 60 and so unhappy. There had been many little clues along the way, but he aasured me it just wasn’t true. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. He is not the person I thought he was. I retired so therefore, no income, have a beautiful home, paid for from my fathers estate and some money in the bank. The problem, he gets half of everything. He has a job, and I don’t. He carries the health insurance. I weighed my options and decided to wait it out. So, to you, you made the right decision. I should have ended this marriage a long time ago when I had a job and could support myself. I’m just thankful he goes to work everyday and I am happy when he is gone. So much for the “golden years”. So, ladies, don’t do what I did and get yourselves into a position like mine. Don’t get “too comfortable”. At any point, he may walk in the door and announce that he wants a divorce, then the worst will be realized. Julie, good luck, it’s hard sometimes, but in the long run, you will be much happier. I wished I hadn’t remarried, just kept thinking I didn’t want to grow old alone. Now I wish I was alone. Isn’t that sad?

• 177. Susan&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 4:19 pm

  I was drawn to your website some years ago becasue it supported by travel and scrapbook problems. You are the only source I use for embellishments or should I say you are the only ones that have what I need. But what has kept me with you more is your “diary”. You make the customer part of your life and since most of us are mother’s we can understand the situations you go thru with your children and your life as a woman. I made it a point to visit your shop last fall and was not surprised to see that the “staff” was more like your extended family. On another point I was amazed with your organization. I have to believe that you have stayed sucessful during this time of less money for hobbies becasue people feel welcome, the product is great and your prices are very competitive. We want you to suceed so we use you over other establishments. We know your story of how this started out of a closet and moved to a space I know has expended since I saw it. You are a true leader and I think a great mother based on all the quality time you spend with your children. I am sorry that as your business grew your marriage crumbled but you are in a great place now to go it alone. I am not divorced but I am sure there will be bumps along the road. If you need support just put it out to your many fans out here. We are here for you and I imagine yur husband will not have that support, or I have never know a husband to have such a support team. I hope people respected your wishes not to be negative and I am glad to see all the support you have gotten. We are here for you as customers but more importantly as women.

• 178. Sharon&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 4:48 pm

  Julie,
  Just wanted to say..’been there, done that, have the tee shirt!” It takes a lot of soul-searching, strength, and faith that things will get better to reach the decision that you have made. I know, as 26 years ago I made the same decision after almost 18 years of marriage. My husband left me with two small children (ages 2 and 4), then came back after 6 months. He was in and out of our life for the next 7 years until I decided that I couldn’t take the uncertainty of whether he was going to be there for us or not. It was the hardest thing that I had to do in my life, but I do not regret it. Someone asked me years ago if I had to do it all over again what would I do. My answer; The only thing that I would change would have been to end the marriage 7 years soon than I did. I don’t regret my marriage (we had 10 good years), or having two wonderful children, but I spent the last 7 years of marriage trying to make it work. It took me that long realize that the marriage couldn’t be saved and to stay in the marriage was doing more harm than good to my children. With the help of my family and good friends, I made the deicison to end the marriage and never looked back. We took it one day at a time and survived. I never remarried, raised my two children all on my own and have never regretted it. I am the person that I am today because of my decision those many years ago, and you will find that you will be a stronger woman and mother because of your decision. My children are grown now and have children of their own. Both of them are in good relationships because I had the courage to stand up for myself and them.

  Hugs and God Bless You. You are truly a brave and stong person to share your story with all of us. You are not alone in this new phase of your life. There are plenty of other women out there who have gone through the same things as you are feeling now, just now that you are not alone.

  You have a great business, I refer complete strangers that I meet in the crafts stores all the time, not only because of your great selection of items, but because you have a great appreciation for your customers and a great staff of folks working for you. Reach for the stars, they are within your grasp!!

• 179. Naomi&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 5:38 pm

  Julie
  Wanted to let you know I’m praying for you. My husband and I will be married 13 years this October. Some of it has been rough but my reliance on the Lord has gotten me through. I hurt for you. My twin sister just went through a divorce about 1 1/2 years ago. That was hard to see and she still hurts from it. She has custody of their 13 year old daughter and I help as much as I can.

• 180. Lucinda Hudson&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 5:41 pm

  Hi, Just read about your recent separation and pending divorce. I wish you strength , patience and perserverance to pursue your new life. I have had several personal opportunities to know that life can chance in an instant, and we only get one go around here, no do-overs. My very close friend has spent the past 1 1/2 yrs separating and divorcing after 13 yrs and two children and I just had to keep reminding her to keep her eyes on the “prize” (whatever that is for you, ie. personal happiness, peaces of mind, etc.) Many times she thought about just throwing in the towel and returning because it would be “easier”, even though everyone involved was not happy and no one was living the life they believed they were put here to live.
  Remember that there will be no shortage of people that will tell you how you should live your life, but no one can ever walk in your shoes. And the best part about your life is, it is exactly that… YOUR life. YOU live it. You only have yourself and God to answer to when the day is over. Good luck in your new life, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. It is never easy, but the best things seldom are.
  Fondly, Lucinda

• 181. Lisa&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 6:55 pm

  Julie:
  I just wanted to let you know, I understand exactly what you are talking about. I made a similar decision 10 years ago. There were so many times, I wondered if I did the right thing. The emotional roller coaster was a rough ride. But I am hear to offer you encouragement, that you can get through this ordeal. You will be a better and stronger person as a result as will your children. I would not change my decision, I am remarried to a wonderful man. We have been married for a little over four years now and I have never been happier. I would suggest you find a divorce recovery workshop. It was extremely helpful for me and many of friends. I will keep you in my prayers! I have faith in you! Remember, if God brought you to it, He will bring you through it!

• 182. Sue Brewer&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 8:33 pm

  Julie you are my hero and an inspiration to many women. you are a strong “sunflower” and one who is to be admired for what she is. My prayer will be that you always look to the sun and follow your heart. I have followed all your stories and have shadowed some of my own life from you. Stand tall sunflower. Sue

• 183. Patti&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 8:40 pm

  Divorce is a huge step… Been there done that, and I can only wish you the great luck that I have had. My children were small, 3 and 7… They are now 15 and 19… They are happy wonderful children. I also have a daughter now age 5… Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. Good luck to you, and feel GOOD about what is right for you! You will be a much better mother if you are truly happy. It will show, and your children will know. Take Care!

• 184. JulieRoss&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 8:54 pm

  Julie, it took the death of my father to push me to make the decision to divorce my husband of 16 years. My kids and I were the victims of mental abuse but i never felt that I could be strong enough to initiate the break. Yes, it was hard for the girls, but as you said, showing your daughter the strength you have is immense.
  I have developed so much self-confidence, something I never felt I had while married. You’ll have some tough times but in the end you will take pride in yourself. Since that time, my motto has been “Never settle” I will never decide to be with someone because I want to be in a relationship. I am worth more than that.
  Trust your decision, keep that confidence in yourself and you will be a roll model for your children.
  Prayers are with you and stay strong.

• 185. Kristi Barnes&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 10:15 pm

  Julie – you have been such an inspiration to me and I know that you have put a lot of thought and soul searching into this decision. No one can tell you what is right or wrong to do and you just have to go with what you believe to be the best for your family. So I applaud you and will keep you in my prayers!!
  Kristi

• 186. Pat&hellip  |  September 10th, 2009 at 10:29 pm

  You are not doing the wrong thing. You have to do what is best for you and your children. I had been divorced for 6 years and 8 years ago married a wonderful man with a 6 yr old daughter. I am now very happy and very blessed. My step daughter (she does not like for me to call her that…so dont tell her) once told me that she was very happy that I became her other mommy cause she knew that her mom and dad did not get along and were always fighting, so she was happy that she did not have to see her daddy sad anymore. The kids will be okay, just reassure them tht mommy and daddy love them, but will not be living together anymore. May God bless you and your family and give you the strength you need to handle this situtation, Stay strong.

• 187. Kim G&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 9:02 am

  Julie, it is very brave of you to share your most intimate heartfelt words with us. I know you are going through a lot at this time, but know we are all here for you. Blessings to your family as this transition plays out. Try your best to stay friends or at least civil for the children and never pitch one parent against the other for thier sake. Good luck with your new life!

• 188. Dolli&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 11:23 am

  Julie, I am divorced too. I was married for 15 years, separated for the last 2 of those years. I was very scared, not sure if I would be able to support my children, make it on my own. But I do have to say that it was during that time I felt I actually became an adult. I know that sounds strange, but I knew that I was the one solely responsible for myself any my children. Now for a little of advice: I did go through a period of loneliness and depression. Don’t be surprised if that happens. I was able to be treated for the depression before it got out of had. If you begin to feel that way, please seek help. Also, please know that sadness is normal, the end of a marriage is like a death. You expected to live the rest of your life with this person, so it is okay to mourn that loss. Check with your church for support groups. And yes everything will be different – especially for your kids. But as a child of divorce and looking at my kids and step-kids, they will adjust to the “new normal” and I am sure will be better off. I do want to leave you with a message of hope. I am sure that this is the furthest thing from your mind right now, but there is life after divorce. I met my true sole mate 4 years ago. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary this past May. Between us we have 5 beautiful daughters ages 17, 13, 12, 7, and 5. If you need some words of comfort, turn to Jeremiah 29:11 – God does have plans for you, He wants good things for you, and He wants you to have hope for a wonderful future. Blessings to you – I’ll be praying for you and for your family.

• 189. Denise B&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 12:22 pm

  Wow!! Sounds like of support from some wonderful women. I also, divorced the father of my children when my twins were 13 months old and the oldest 3. It was very hard, but worth it. After 5 years, I met a wonderful man, and we celebrated our 14th anniversary in July. In August, I discovered that he has an “old friend” whose friendship means more to him than me or our family. We are together right now, but will separate sometime soon. I am heartsick over the loss of the life we have had, and the future I thought we would have. But, I am excited that I will be able to live my own life. My boys are almost grown and on their own, and my future won’t have to include providing for their every need.

  The one thing I learned from what life has given me is that if you are not happy, the rest doesn’t matter.

  Jule, and everyone else who has gone through this, we can give each other support and strenght. WE WILL BE FINE!!!

  Denise

• 190. Cindy Vaughan&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 2:54 pm

  I have been there myself, not knowing if what I did was the right thing. I wasn’t married as long as you were, but we divorced, got remarried because we thought we could make it work, then got divorced again. I know that was rough on my kids.

  But, what was worse for them was to stay in a marriage where there was no love or affection and constant bickering. They suffered for that because I was scared to be on my own financially. Emotionally, I was so ready. But, I bit the bullet and did it. Things were very rough for me at first, but I did manage.

  I have since remarried and I have a wonderful husband, the kids are great and have prospered in all they do. The most important thing is I am in a marriage where God is first and foremost.

  My prayers are with you,
  Cindy Vaughan

• 191. catmama&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 3:22 pm

  As a person who had a very long “practice” marriage, I can tell you that there is life – a very good life – after divorce. It will probably be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do but it is worth it. It will be so much better for you but especially for your kids to move out and on. This time of grieving will pass and you will find the life you were always destined to have.

• 192. Carolyn&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

  I was married only five years and Sept 11, 2001 is what sealed the deal for my divorce. I realized then life can change in an instant and the life I was leading was not the life I wanted to live for the rest of my life. You know in your heart when it is the right thing to do, because your heart is telling you that your life is wrong the way it is now. You will be strong and you will survive it and you won’t regret your decision for a moment.

• 193. Melissa&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 3:58 pm

  Julie,

  My thoughts and prayers are with you, I understand how you can feel soo many emotions all at once and it has to seem overwhelming. Once the dust settles, like you said you will be facing the sun. I’ve been married 7 years, and a little over a year ago had to be the hardest. I was forced the leave my husband to force him to get the help he needed. I felt soo overwelmed with so many emotions that I was glad that I was surrounded by people to support me and help me get through that hard time. Granted a different situation, but in the end we are the same… we are facing the sun and living the life that we don’t regret. I love my life, where Im at and who I’m surrounded by, even if it took hard descions and hard times to get there…. and glad to hear that you are creating that for yourself as well.

• 194. Meg&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 4:05 pm

  I wish you only the best. You have found the strength in yourself that I hope to find in me someday. Helen Keller said, “Keep your face to the sun and you will never see the shadows.”

• 195. Lea&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 4:57 pm

  Divorce is terribly sad. I was married at 16, divorced at 21, growing up milestones in most peoples lives… I did the right thing for me at that time. Have been married to a wonderful man now for 28 years and have 3 exceptional children. It won’t be easy, but with the counseling you have had over the years, I will pray for your focus to get yourself healthy for your future and your children, for strength and that you grow toward the Son.

• 196. cheer coach&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 9:46 pm

  Julie I am a new shopper to your site and I want to say that I admire you for sharing your feeling and personal thoughts on your site…. I have read it over and over again as I am in a very similar situation which I know will never change but at the same time it is really scary to throw away 22 years of marriage for me. My youngest is a senior in high school and both my 2 kids can sense there is divorce in the near future. The sunflower and what it means to you is so inspiring! I am hoping to find the kind of strength that you found to start a new chapter in my life…. thank you for the inspiration.

• 197. Linda&hellip  |  September 11th, 2009 at 10:07 pm

  Julie – You have realized this at a great time in your life. I was 57 before I finally had the courage to say “hey . . . I matter.” And the years are slipping away. To all of you who are wondering whether you are worth it – whether there is such a thing as happiness. There is!
  Every one of us deserves it. Life is short and the years slip by too quickly. Julie – what you did took courage and will take more strength than you now know – but in the end, it will be well worth it. Linda

• 198. Nancy Duckworth&hellip  |  September 12th, 2009 at 3:36 pm

  Hi Julie,
  I understand completely. I too was i that position. Twice actually, for different reasons. The first time was like you in that I finally realized that there had to be more to my life than what there had been so far. It was very difficult to sort through the different emotions, but when all was said and done, at the end of each day I felt I was doing the right thing. My ex and I are now very good friends, and I have never regretted my desision.

  The second time was in 2001 after my cancer diagnosis in 2000. I realized that life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t make you happy. So, I gave him 1 week to move out. After 1 week, he asked for 1 more week… and then 1 more. He really was trying during this period to change things. And so it’s been for the last 8 and a half years. He’s on a week to week contract, lol. But things improved so much that I can say I have the life I always wanted:)

  I must also say that it doesn’t always happen that way.It didn’t with my first husband. You know in your heart that what you are doing is the right thing. Just do what you need to in order to be happy and fulfilled. Never look back and regret anything for any reason, because what you are doing is the right thing AT THIS TIME in your life. It is what you need to do FOR YOU. Women are the world’s worst for putting everyone and everything else first before themselves. We really shouldn’t do that, nor should anyone else allow us to.

  I wish for you a great life. You have PERMISSION to be selfish at times, to have fun, to make a great life for yourself without regret:) Now go do it!

• 199. Nancy Duckworth&hellip  |  September 12th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

  Hi Julie,
  I understand completely. I too was i that position. Twice actually, for different reasons. The first time was like you in that I finally realized that there had to be more to my life than what there had been so far. It was very difficult to sort through the different emotions, but when all was said and done, at the end of each day I felt I was doing the right thing. My ex and I are now very good friends, and I have never regretted my decision.

  The second time was in 2001 after my cancer diagnosis in 2000. I realized that life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t make you happy. So, I gave him 1 week to move out. After 1 week, he asked for 1 more week… and then 1 more. He really was trying during this period to change things. And so it’s been for the last 8 and a half years. He’s on a week to week contract, lol. But things improved so much that I can say I have the life I always wanted:)

  I must also say that it doesn’t always happen that way.It didn’t with my first husband. You know in your heart that what you are doing is the right thing. Just do what you need to in order to be happy and fulfilled. Never look back and regret anything for any reason, because what you are doing is the right thing AT THIS TIME in your life. It is what you need to do FOR YOU. Women are the world’s worst for putting everyone and everything else first before themselves. We really shouldn’t do that, nor should anyone else allow us to.

  I wish for you a great life. You have PERMISSION to be selfish at times, to have fun, to make a great life for yourself without regret:) Now go do it!

• 200. terri&hellip  |  September 12th, 2009 at 5:48 pm

  living in a marriage that isn’t working is bad for you and bad for your kids – especially if they see the disharmony between you and your mate…I too divorced after 18 years of marriage and the 12 years that have followed have been a time of tremendous growth for me and many wonderful NEW experiences… it is easy to put the kids in the middle -but don’t allow you or your ex to go there…they want to love you both…take care and God Bless

• 201. Annette&hellip  |  September 12th, 2009 at 7:57 pm

  This is the first time I’ve been on here, although I do enjoy the email that you send to your customers. I was in a similar situation…at 23 I was married to a good provider, we owned our own home, had a son, a daughter and a little white dog. It looked great from the outside and even though it was everything I ever wanted, it wasn’t with the right person. I left him everything and packed my children at 1 and 2 and a half years old and started a life with them. Looking back at pictures I can’t believe I left with them SO young and if I had known the trials ahead I may have stayed out of fear and comfort, but I knew I was doing the right thing. My kids are now 9 and 10 and people are envious and complimentary on the close relationship I have with my kids. We grew together and made sacrifices but we have always had each other even when we’ve had nothing else and I truly believe that’s the important parts of life. My (ex)husband was materialistic and I gave it all up for happiness. God bless you on your journey ahead. It won’t always be easy but on the days it’s rough, pull out a board game and play with the kids. Things won’t seem so bad and it’ll make you even closer.

• 202. Susan&hellip  |  September 13th, 2009 at 12:41 pm

  Julie – You definitely seem like a person that tries very hard in your life to do the best thing. So, no doubt, you tried very hard in your marriage. You must now trust your gut. You and your kids will be okay, it just takes some time.

  I was very struck by this comment in Post #6: “I’ve only been married 3.5 years, but I see how I’m moving away from the person I always wanted to be. I’m actually not ME at all…only the person that I HAVE to be in order to keep a happy home for my daughter. I can’t go on like this for the rest of my life.”

  I felt the same way when I was married and in a couple of relationships since. Women too often give up themselves and their potential just to maintain a relationship. It’s an ENORMOUS sacrifice. And the truth is — they shouldn’t have to make it! But that requires an entire article or book about male/female dynamics.

  The very best to you.

• 203. Stephanie&hellip  |  September 14th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

  Julie,
  I made the same decision after 24 years – I knew that I had done everything that I could to make it work – I made my decision and never looked back – that was 14 years ago – I have NO regrets – I’m happy – if Joyce reads this…get out girl – you don’t need to live like that – the relief and happiness will far outweigh your scared feelings! Julie you have no idea how happy you make a bunch of silly women when one of us gets an order from you – it’s like Christmas morning!! Thanks, and good luck!!

• 204. Karen&hellip  |  September 15th, 2009 at 9:33 am

  I waited until my 2 boys were in college to leave my husband. I should have left much sooner. I have been so happy since I made the move. It wasn’t easy. I think that older kids take it even harder. My youngest son didn’t speak to me for awhile. He was 19 at the time. He is now 35 and we are best friends and he hardly sees his Dad. I met my new husband online. He is a teacher. A wonderful man, with a great sense of humor. You did the right thing…I wish you every happiness in the future.

• 205. Kat Sprouse&hellip  |  September 16th, 2009 at 9:31 am

  Julie – kudos to you for making such a hard decision! You did what was right for all involved. I’m glad that you looked out for yourself, and your needs… at times, we tend to let our own needs fall to the bottom of the pile. You sound very strong, and I think that you will do everything possible to make this transition as smooth as possible for all involved.

  My parents divorced when I was 7. My dad remarried immediately, and I have a half sister who is 13 years younger. Her parents divorced when she was 13. So, I’ve gone thru “divorce” twice. I can’t imagine either marriage staying together for the sake of the child… it would have been pure “HELL” for all involved. My parents did a good job of working with each other for my best interest after their divorce. And, in the last few years of my dad’s life, they became “best friends” for each other. Funny how things end. I’m 52 now, and I don’t feel “scarred” because I am the product of a divorce. I’ve always felt that I was more prepared for life, as a result of my parents divorce. Just remember to look for the good that is coming out of this situation, and focus on that. If you do, EVERYONE involved will do the same.

  Wishing you much happiness in this next chapter of your life.

• 206. Tammy&hellip  |  September 16th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

  Julie,

  I have been in a similar situation. It is a hard decesion especially when children are involved, but I would rather them see the positive things that mom and dad have to offer rather than a life filled with fighting and unhappiness. You did the right thing and trust me the kids will get through this. One piece of advice both parents MUST ALWAYS do what is best for the kids. When I took tmy current job on the monitor of my computer was a post-it-note that said ” The only person that can change my situation in life is me” It is still on my monitor, this is good advice for anyone no matter what life is sending there way. God Bless! Tammy

• 207. sarah werner-aul&hellip  |  September 17th, 2009 at 7:26 am

  i dont check my email everyday,so when i did read about your split i had to write.i also went through a divorce.turns out it was a positive one.my oldest child is a happy,outgoing girl,who grew up with 2 parents who love her,but were better off as friends…i hope that all goes well with you and the kids.sarah

• 208. Kay Utterberg&hellip  |  September 30th, 2009 at 2:44 am

  Julie,
  I just read your email….and I support your decision wholeheartedly. I know it will be scary, cuz the “blanket of routine and familiarity” has been taken away after 18 years of always knowing it was within arm’s reach. But I can’t wait to hear about all the new adventures you will experience, and all the personal growth that your “inner sunflower” will be thriving from every day.
  As I read your blog entry, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
  You will be strong, and you will thrive…because that IS who you are.
  Hugs…Kay Utterberg

• 209. Debbie Helton&hellip  |  November 4th, 2009 at 10:27 pm

  Hi Julie, This is Debbie Helton, we met (for the second time) a few months ago with my friend Teresa Carter @ Peach Valley….Thank you again for all of your great words of wisdom and advice…our business idea is on hold right now (as both of our other business are busy)! I just happend upon your post about your divorce and I just wanted to let you know what I have found to be the most important thing during and after my divorce 7 years ago….Make a pact with your ex husband to always make your children the most important thing…not the issues of why the marriage dissolved. Never put your children in the middle and never make them feel like they have to choose. My 16 year old son is the most well adjusted 16 year old boy I know…my ex and I decided that his stability and future was more important than anything. We have never involved him in our disagreements, we never said anything bad about the other to him…it is hard at first but in the long run it is so worth it. His dad and I have grown so much, we have actually become great friends again, we sit together at soccer games, we are united for our son! Time definitely heals all if you let it.